The Day That I Nearly Killed an Old, Elderly Man

Well, I promised you this story the other day, so I figured that I'd better follow through. So here goes...

One day, when I was only 83 weeks pregnant (that's about 34-35 weeks for regular people) we decided to stop at one of our favorite sandwich shops in San Marcos, Alvin Ords. They have the BEST sandwiches...really. If you're in the area, and you haven't eaten there, you're missing out! Anyway, I get the same sandwich every time we go there, as does Brent. Not that him getting the same thing really matters to this story.

Anyway, Alvin Ord's is a college place. It's run by old hippies who smoked a lot of dope back in the day (and more than likely still do!) and most of the employees that work there are college kids. They're all sort of hippy-ish, if you know what I mean. I think that they all hug trees, care about the environment and the girls probably don't shave. Now, saying all of that, I have nothing wrong with the employees or those beliefs, I'm just trying to paint an accurate picture for you all.

There are also a few older employees. Like maybe they worked there when Alvin Ord's first opened many, many moons ago. Keep that in mind...

So, back to the story. I went up to the counter along with Brent and Tanner and we all placed our order. They ordered the Salvation - a yummy treat for their tummies, and I placed my order. I ordered a turkey sandwich on French, with no cheese. Not that hard, right? I mean, it's not like it comes with a bunch of things that I cut this and that and added the other...I just didn't want cheese on my sandwich.

We sat down and waited for our food. Shortly, since the service is so great, our food was delivered and it was hot and smelled so yummy. The boys immediately dug into their sandwiches and I proceeded to scrape a little of the extra lettuce off of my sandwich first. That's when I noticed the cheese. I mean, how hard is it to leave off the cheese when I specifically ordered it that way? It shouldn't have been too hard, since that was the only change that I had made to the sandwich. I calmly got up, took my sandwich back to the counter and waited my turn.

Was I going to ask them to re-make my sandwich? You better bet I was. I mean, all I wanted was NO CHEESE. Not that hard, and I wasn't even mad about it. Just 83 weeks pregnany and hungry, which thinking about it in those terms makes for a dangerous combination. There was a pretty good line at the counter, and the younger (read smarter looking) employee was busy, so he asked the older gentleman behind the counter if he could help me. I mean, I'm standing there holding an uneaten sandwich - there was obviously something wrong with my order.

Here's how our conversation went down:

Me: Yes sir, I asked for no cheese on my sandwich and it was made with cheese.
Old Man: just stares at me blankly, obviously not comprehending
Me: You see, I ordered a turkey sandwich on French with NO CHEESE...and there's cheese on this sandwich...
Old Man: But it IS French bread.
Me: Yes, I know that it's French bread. And that's fine. But it had cheese on it. I didn't want cheese, and I ordered it without cheese.
Old Man: So you want Wheat Bread? Not French.
Me: (at this point starting to get "testy" and lose my temper) No, sir. I wanted a turkey sandwich on FRENCH but with NO CHEESE. I would like for you to re-make the sandwich.
Old Man: But you still want the cheese, right?

It was at this point that I decided that it was safer for all involved for me to just walk away. You know, to take a step back. I gave him the death glare with evil ojos, which several other employees witnessed, and then I walked (or maybe stomped) back to our table and sat back down. Brent, who had witnessed the rising temperature to my temper was honestly worried for the safety of the old man. Our table wasn't actually close enough to the counter for him to have overheard the conversation, but he knew that it didn't go well. As I related the story back to him, he immiediately got up to take care of the situation.

Luckily, about that time what I can only assume was a supervisor or manager came over to the table to ask what the problem was. I literally had to let Brent do the talking because I was so mad. I know that I probably didn't have a reason to be that mad, but hormones take over your body at this point during your pregnancy and I was hungry. That's really the only excuse that I have. The younger guy was very nice, and understood the problem and went off to re-make my sandwich...correctly this time.

Was I worried about the old man spitting in my food? Yeah, a little bit. But the good news is that we had a clear shot of where they prepare the food and Brent watched them like a hawk on my behalf. Me? I just sat there and ate the rest of my Fritos while I waited. Lucky for them I didn't have to wait for long. My sandwich came out hot and fresh...and right...and oh, so yummy.

After the demons inside me had settled and my hunger was abated, I was slightly embarrassed about the way that I had acted. Brent assured me that I hadn't overreacted or caused a scene in any way, but I still felt bad that I nearly took off the head of an innocent, if somewhat hardof-hearing, older man. I was raised to respect the elderly, even when they can't hear you. But oh well. Brent went up to get a refill on his soda before we left, and the younger guy was up at the counter again and asked if everything had worked out right the second time. Brent sort of apologized for me and told the guy that it was really the best thing for me to just walk away from the old man, being 35 weeks pregnant at the time. The young guy laughed and said not to worry about it, and gave us the impression that things like this happened all the time with that old man.

What's the moral to this story? Well, it could be twofold. #1 - when you're 35 weeks pregnant (or more than 35 weeks along) you don't always have control of your emotions. You WILL go off on perfect strangers for the craziest of things, if not your own loved ons. It's a fact of life. Accept it, embrace it, and deal with it. You're not the first one to do it, and you probably won't be the last either. #2 - you CAN control your emotions, to an extent. You can choose to walk away. Instead of tearing a stranger's head off. You DO have options. LOL!

Have you had a meltdown on a total stranger yet? Or do you know someone that did? I'd LOVE to hear that I'm not the only one...

Sneaky, Sneaky Mommy!

So, I tried to sneak a fast one by baby boy today. I tried to convince him that it would be MORE fun outside of my belly rather than inside of my belly. I tried all that I could to cajole, tease and bribe him out of my belly.

I even went to the hospital in hopes that he would recognize my urgency and help me out a little bit.

Nah, that's not really true. I mean, I did go to the hospital where I plan on giving birth. But I didn't visit the maternity wing, although I looked longingly at the doors and even gave Jax a good, firm nudge from the outside of my belly.

Do you think that worked?

Yeah, I didn't really think that it would work either. But I figured that it was worth a try.

He did nudge me back. Painfully. In the ribs along the right side of my body. I didn't laugh.

In all seriousness, we got a call that my MIL had been taken to the hospital this morning. She's been sick for about a week with a bad sinus infection, but nothing too serious. Therefore, you can imagine my alarm to hear that she was now in the hospital. After taking Jenna home, I went up to the hospital to check on her and see what was going on. Unfortunately, I went at a time when MIL was having a long test (it lasted an hour and a half) so I had to turn around and go home. I went back once Brent got off of work so that we could both check on her.

It turns out that they're keeping her overnight and tomorrow for observation. They don't really know what's wrong with her. She's diabetic and her blood sugar levels are off the charts right now. Along with stomach pain, intestinal troubles (don't want to share too much TMI) and just overall feeling faint and not well. At this point, they think that it's an infection in her intestines. Once the doctors can narrow down what type of infection, they'll know how to treat it and can proceed from there. But since they haven't determined anything yet, it's all still up in the air.

The good news is that she's feeling better. And her RN, Natalie, was encouraging her to get better because it looks like she needs to be in the hospital visiting the maternity ward, not as a patient in her own room. Apparently, Natalie thought that I was just about to pop, but maybe she was just judging by looking at my belly button! Who knows? But that's what both FIL and MIL said to me - "We both thought the next trip to a hospital would be to meet Jax!"

I assured them that I was having the same thoughts! I thought the next time that I was in a hospital would be birthing this baby. But two seperate trips up there today didn't convince the little guy to come on out.

Oh well. That concludes day #4,972. Luckily, I go see the doctor tomorrow. Maybe she'll have better news for me this week? I, for one, am NOT getting my hopes up!

Why Didn’t Anyone Warn Me About the Hormones???

This is what MUST go through my husband’s head sometimes...really and truly. He’s been great, he tells me all the time that I’m not that hormonal and other than a few times have been acting totally normal and not crazy-hormonal-pregnant all the time. I think that he’s forgetting about this incident. Or the weekend of my baby shower, which yes, I still need to post about. Or the time that I almost assaulted the old guy in Alvin Ord’s in San Marcos…oh wait, I haven’t shared that story yet. Well, that’s a story for ANOTHER day, I promise!

Yeah, and if you believe that I’ll remember to post that one later, you must be smoking crack too! I mean, did I mention that I still haven’t posted about my awesome shower that was two weekends ago? Yeah…keep holding your breath.

Anyway. Back to my post about hormones. No one tells you how bad it is or how irrational you’re being. Well, strangers might tell you, because they can always run away. But your friends and family and especially those that have to live in the same household with you don’t really like to talk about it. It’s like that dark, family secret that great-Aunt Bertha doesn’t talk about, you know? They lie to your face and tell you that you haven’t been that bad, when you know that they’re lying to your face because they have to live with you, and you probably prepare some or most of their meals so their scared that they might get spit in their food if they speak ill of you. It could happen. Especially when you’re 37 weeks pregnant.

And you love hearing the lie. Even knowing it’s a lie, it makes me feel better to hear it. They’re only lying out of love for me, right? Let’s hope so. And he must love me lots…because I’m 100% hormonal right now. I could cry at the drop of a hat and not know why. And that’s a for real not know why, not the whole I’m telling you that I don’t know why I’m crying when I really do know and I’m too pissed off at you because you don’t know why I’m crying to tell you why I’m crying. Did you follow that? It made sense to me!

If it’s not tears that are afflicting me, it’s the darn heat. No, not the heat OUTSIDE – I mean, I know that I live in Central Texas and July is usually spent with days reaching into the 100’s each and every day. No, I’m talking about the heat that is roasting my body from the inside out. I’m literally H-O-T all the time. All. The. Time. As in, my husband obviously thinks that we own a portion of the electric company (which it turns out that it’s a Co-op so we kinda do!) and he likes to keep the house at a chilly 70 degrees year round. And since installing the tile in the whole downstairs of our house that makes for a CHILLY downstairs. And I love it right now. On any normal-not-pregnant-day you would find me wrapped up in a throw or quilt trying to stay warm and sneaking up the stairs to turn the thermostat up “just a little bit” without him catching me. These days? You’re lucky to find me fully clothed during the middle of the day, let alone not laying on the tile floor just to transfer the coolness to my body.

And another weird hormonal thing that MUST be related, I cannot drink enough water to quench my thirst. I figure that it’s related to those hormones that are making my temperature gauge all freaky right now too, since I figure that the water is cooling me off from the inside out, while the A/C helps cool off my outsides. I seriously consume at least 10-12 glasses of water each day. And three of those are drunk between the hours of midnight and 4 am, which does lead to more peeing. But I’m up in the middle of the night peeing whether I drink the water or not, so I might as well try to make myself nice and hydrated. And it has to be water. Not vanilla cokes from Sonic – although they still taste divine, they do NOTHING to quench the thirst. Kool-Aid is a close second to water, or sweet tea, but there are times that I can’t even do those – it HAS to be water.

And this is all BEFORE I give birth. From what I remember, it gets WAY WORSE after the birth process is over and you’re back at home. I remember friends coming over to bring us dinner or to visit and finding me all curled up in a little ball crying my eyes out while my baby was snuggled up nice and tight in my arms. I remember it being MUCH worse afterwards. But shhhh…that’s my little secret. I haven’t told that to Brent or the kids yet. I figure it’s just better experienced without forewarning. Or maybe I can pull it off that I “didn’t know” that it was going to be that way afterwards? Probably not, I’m a horrible liar. But I can still try!

Anyway, I guess it’s true what they say about another person controlling your thoughts, body and actions when you’re pregnant and the period immediately following giving birth. There are times that you don’t know why you do what you do, why you eat what you’re eating and so on. There are moments that you’ll be so aggravating to be around, or maybe I should phrase that to say you’ll be so aggrevated to be around anyone else, that you just won’t know what to do. And then there are times that your limits of self-restraint and control will amaze even you. And it’s those times that I try to keep in the fore-front of my mind…and my husband’s. A little positive reinforcement never hurt, right? LOL!

**And just in case you’re wondering – none of the above counts as me complaining or whining. I’m still holding to my pledge to minimize the complaints, and the above post was written purely for educational purposes…not to vent or complain!