Calling All Moms! Nighttime help, PLEASE!!!

dash-dash-dash. dot-dot-dot. dash-dash-dash.

Or is it dot-dot-dot. dash-dash-dash. dot-dot-dot?  I can't remember...either way - HELP! 

I have a problem.  Well, I probably have many problems, but this is one that I think that you can help with.  I  have a heavy-wetter at night...and I don't know what to do about it.  He goes through diapers during the night like they're going out of style, and I'm at my wits end about it all.  I think that this could be "part" of the problem with his bad nighttime sleeping habits...he keeps waking up because his diaper has leaked again and who can blame him for being mad about it?  Not me! 

We use disposable diapers...go ahead, castrate me for it.  It's our choice and worked well for me before.  Jenna never had these leaking overnight problems.  Jax likes the Huggies Little Snugglers/Movers best, and during the day they work fine.  But at night?  I always have to change him at his nighttime bottle just to try to avoid the mess, but lately he's not even making it until then...the diapers are leaking sooner!  At first I thought that it was happening more often because he was growing out of the size 2 diapers...so I moved up to size 3.  They work fine during the day, but at night...every single night...they leak on the front since he's a tummy sleeper.  And sometimes they leak on the sides when he's snuggled up in his swaddle wrap.

So what should I do?  Try a different brand?  Try a different style (Huggies makes Snug and Dry vs. the Little Movers)? 

The other options that I've looked at are overnight diapers, but I can't find them in a store under a size 4...so that's out.  And then today, I was catching up in my Reader and saw this post where she talks about what they do at night...should I try cloth diapering just for the nighttime absorbency tricks that are possible?  And if I do go with cloth diapers...where the heck do I start?  There are so many options and brands and inserts...I'm truly overwhelmed!

What do you recommend?  Surely someone out there has a recommendation...what do you do for your nighttime diaper situation?  Thanks for any input you can offer me!!!

Worst Phone Call…Ever

Parents, you know the one that I’m talking about. It’s the school calling you, and they’re calling to tell you that your precious child got hurt at school. Who cares that the “precious child” is 13 years old? To a mother/father, it doesn’t matter I tell you. Whether it’s the day care calling to tell me that Jax is running a fever during the middle of my work day, or a call about one of our older children, it’s alarming all the same.

Today the call was about Tanner. And we’re furious about what happened. I’ll fill you in on the deets and then you can be all furious with us, and you’ll need to comment below and tell me that you’re also furious so that I don’t lose my own steam…ok?

Yesterday another cold front hit our area…temperatures dropped out of the 60’s (don’t hate us) and the winter coats went back on when the sleet started falling from the sky during the early morning hours. Life went on, nothing came to a screeching halt (except the blasted Austin traffic!) and everyone went on their merry way. Staying in the 20’s all day though, leads one to believe that it’s also going to remain cold all night. Let me be the first one to clue you in: freezing temperatures and automatic sprinkler systems do NOT mix well together. Think oil and water and you’ve got the right idea.

So Tanner goes to school this morning, and being in Athletics, shows up at the gym first thing in the morning. His basketball coach, in all of his infinite wisdom, decides that for practice today the boys should go outside and run some laps around the track. Right now you should already be scratching your head a little bit…I’m just letting you know.

Before going outside, several of the 12 and 13 year-old boys who have more common sense than the Coach apparently has question the Coach about whether it’s too cold to be running outside, but he tells them to do the laps like he said and to stop questioning him. (Bright idea…real bright idea, she says in a voice that literally drips sarcasm like a leaky sieve.)

And the idea is made even brighter by the discovery that the maintenance man/men did not turn off the automatic sprinklers that water the inside or middle of the track last night…the water came on and doused the entire track area…and then froze. At this point, I don’t know if the boys tried to talk to the Coach again or not. If it were me and I’d already been told once not to question him, I probably wouldn’t have mentioned it, but that’s just me.

I’ll go ahead and jump to the middle of the story for you since no, this story does NOT end when three boys fell and got hurt. Yep, you read that right. Three kids fell down on the icy track that they were forced to run on outside in the 20 degree weather…thanks, Coach! And obviously I wouldn’t be telling this story if one of the boys wasn’t ours. Tanner fell down on the icy track, landed on his face and got not only a mild concussion, but a split eyelid. And let me give you enough further gory details to say that his eyelid split in a spot where they can’t stitch it back up because of the proximity to his eye.
So the immediate effect/consequence in Tanner’s world is that #1 he is rushed to the hospital and #2 gets to go home for the day with some good drugs and a cool eye patch. The lingering effects? He’s out of the rest of basketball season…and potentially might not be healed enough to play baseball this summer. Which he has played every.single.year since T-ball. Bummer.

And another lasting repercussion? Hospital/Doctor bills. Yes, we have insurance on Tanner, and hopefully most of this will all be covered under it (once the deductible has been met)…but is it our responsibility to pay for this? I think not. Now, before I go any further, let me say with all clarity that I am not one of those people who thinks that everyone needs to sue everyone else for the wrong that was done to them. I also don’t believe that you should get rich off of a big corporation or company when something happens to you. I don’t believe that at all.

But I do believe in doing the right thing. And in this case, the school is clearly responsible/liable for their Coach’s actions. He sent the kids out in bad weather. He didn’t check the area he sent them to – making sure that it was a safe place for them to be going. His decision. This wasn’t Tanner goofing off, slipping and falling on his own whim. He was following the orders that a teacher gave him when he got hurt. In my opinion, the school is clearly in the wrong here.

Yet, despite all evidence to the contrary, when Tanner’s mom called the school to ask if they were footing the hospital bill she was told that “they don’t do that.” We told her to call a lawyer. We also advised her that although she doesn’t need to seek/expect a financial windfall for what’s happened to her son, she should at least be compensated for the medical bills. What if he has damage to his eye? A good check-up wasn’t really possible with the lid being so damaged right now, but what if? Then he might be out of sports period, not just sitting out for a month or two. To a 13 year-old boy, being told that you can’t play sports might as well be a death sentence…that’s all that they care about! Or maybe I should say that all that this boy cares about.

Either way, we’re really upset by the school’s response of this not being “their fault.” If not the school, then who’s fault is it? Clearly 30 boys didn’t decide on their own to put on their gym shorts and go run a mile outside when it was sleeting the day before…if it had been snowing, then maybe I could see the interest of a snow ball fight or something. That’s not the case here. The Coach gave a bad order, the kids followed it, and several kids were hurt. And now the school wants to take the stance that they’re not responsible? I don’t think so!

Now it’s your turn to chime in…what do you think about this? Are we over-reacting? Do you think the school should cover these three boys’ medical bills? Or are we just becoming part of an insane growth in society (that we personally loathe) where everyone sues everyone else for the smallest thing?

My First Project of 2011

Did I share my new project with you guys yet? I don’t think that I have…probably so that you wouldn’t think that I was crazy with a capital “C” for attempting such a feat. I swear that I couldn’t help myself. That excuse works for a lot of things, so I figured that this might be one of those times. It’s sort of like when you fall in love…you see someone (or some craft project, in my case) and just simply fall. Just like that. See, you couldn’t help it, that excuse works, right?

Here’s what caught my eye.

source - but don't go there since she's "on vacation"

Le sigh.

It just looks lovely. Love the colors, love the texture…love everything about it. And I had.to.have.it. Now. I even love what she said about who she was making it for instead of telling her daughter the truth. Oh wait, since her blog is on "vacation" mode, you can't read what she did.  I'll sum it up for you - when her daughter asked her what she was working on, she told her that she was making a blanket for her best friend.  Then she gave it to her daughter on her birthday...how sweet is that?!?!  Insert another loud, longing sigh here…

But I’m a horrible liar. It’s one of my best qualities, according to my husband. There was no way that I could make that blanket for Jenna without telling her who I was making it for. Just can’t do it. Plus, I thought that it would be more fun if she picked out the colors herself, so that it could be “our” project. And by “our” I mean mine – since I’m the one doing all of the actual work. Sure, she got totally directorship in color selection, but I’m the slave here. At least that’s what I’m telling myself.

So you know me – I jumped right in. Never mind the fact that I don’t own a crochet hook. Never mind the other fact that I haven’t actually crocheted anything in oh, say…twenty years. Who needs to know how to read the pattern? Not me! Let alone understand what the pattern means and how to perform the stitches. Those are just minor details. (See how much like love this is? Overlooking glaringly obvious character flaws and dating the guy anyway?!?!)

But since I had already hooked Jenna on the idea of that blanket, you know that I had to keep going, right? Well, I’m proud to say that after two or three days of practice runs, I hit the ground running and am only now slowing down for air. I’ve made about 50 of the little squares…and let me stress the word little. It hit me the other day exactly how small these little things are...which led me to quickly try to calculate exactly how many of these bad boys I actually need to make. Which gave me a headache. LOL!

I was originally thinking that I could make it 15 squares x 10 squares. But after I got into my groove on how to make them neatly and prettily, I realized that 15 of these squares lined up isn’t really all that long. But it took me actually laying the squares out on the living room rug with Jenna beside me (I needed someone to ooh! and ah! over my work, you know) that it really hit me. 15x10 just isn’t going to cut it. That actually barely covers her body, much less with enough leftover to give her some “wiggle room.” What a conundrum…

You’ve seen my inspiration. Each square is made up of three circles, rings inside of rings if you will. Right now, I’m keeping the colors a repeat on the outer and inner circle and then a contrast color for the middle ring. So if my two colors are hot pink and purple, then my innermost circle is hot pink, the middle circle would be purple and then the outer ring would be hot pink again. My anal-retentive self created a chart so that I make sure to combine every single color with every other single color – because who can just do that in their head, right? According to my chart, if I don’t repeat any of the color combos, then I’ll have 64 squares at the end of it.

If you’ve had your morning coffee (or Coke) then your math skills are on the same page with mine. 15x10 does NOT equal 64. It equals 150. And that’s too small. Going up just one 5 square set on both height and length looks a little closer to what I’m thinking in my head. But once again calling on my keen math skills, 20x15 = 300 squares = a LOT of darn work. This is what jumping in with both feet without looking means.

So this is where you come in, bloggy friends. What would you do? I can only see two options. I can make the 300 squares that I think that I really need…or I can make the original 150 squares and then add a wide border to the blanket and see where I stand. The theory with option #2 is that if after adding the border I still don’t think that it’s big enough, then I could add another row (or 3) of squares outside of the edge and then make another edge. I don’t know if that will translate well through words only, so here’s a quick sketch for you…

Option #1

Option #2

Which route would you take? You know, if you were me. Which you’re not, clearly. Because any sane person wouldn’t even attempt a project like this with a child aged 6 months in their house. Then again, I never said that I was sane! Or that it would turn out perfect…there are many squares where I got off in my counts and they’re not perfect. But it’s still made with love, and that’s what counts, right? Man, I hope so! Especially if I have to make 300 of those little suckers…

We’re Like the Walking Dead

Those are zombies, right? I hope so…otherwise I just referred to my husband and I as dead walkers…creepy!

Anyway…my child doesn’t sleep. No, that’s not true. He does sleep. He just doesn’t sleep for longer than 4 hours at night. Seriously. That’s three feedings between 7p-7a. And that’s not so much sleep for us…since we share in the feeding duties now that it’s all formula all the time. I really thought that once we switched to formula that it would last him a bit longer than the breastmilk was lasting, but not so much. Maybe it’s an urban legend that formula is more filling?
Either way, Jax used to sleep from his 8p feeding (after bath time) until 2am. Like clockwork. You could have actually set a clock by that schedule. Then he would go from 2a until 5a…not so long, but ok since we got a good stretch of sleep during the first part of the night.  Then, without any warning, he switched the schedule up on us, as babies are prone to doing. One week it was 130a and 430a…and the next week it was 1a and 4a…and now some nights it’s midnight or even 1130p when he’s waking up to be fed that first time.

I don’t know what happened. I thought that it was the cold that did us in…you know, too much snot, not enough suckage with the booger-sucker-thingy? But he’s a lot better on that front and still hasn’t gone back to his old sleeping schedule. He’s gone as long as 4 hours…maybe 5 hours one night…but no more 6 hours stretches. And if he does (by some miracle) end up sleeping longer, it only happens one night…there’s no repeat or encore performance for us to enjoy.

So we’ve had to start sleeping in shifts. You know, one of us takes the first part of the night and the other goes into our extra bedroom (Tanner’s room) and sleeps like the dead. Then in the middle of the night, we swap. It works for us, except that there is a big disconnect with your spouse when you don’t get to sleep next to each other. And when you’re trying to do a 30 Day Intimacy Challenge, it’s even harder. I feel closer than ever to my husband, and can’t enjoy one of the best things about our relationship…sleeping together. In the literal or figurative sense.

I’m really not complaining, or I don't mean to complain. I understand that this is part of having kids...they don't sleep.  I was a horrible sleeper as an infant, a fact that my Mother reminds me of often. Especially when I’m complaining about how my own children are or are NOT sleeping. She tells me that I could speak in complete sentences before I ever slept through the night. At least I know that she understands, right? I suppose, except for the fact that back in those days, they at least let you do rice cereal or solid foods SO much earlier…heck, even with Jenna, the norm was to start solids at 3 months. Now, it’s 4 months if you’ve got a wayward doctor…but more likely 6 months if your doctor keeps up with his/her medical stuff. Lucky for me, I’ve got a 4 month believer…and I feel that Jax is ready as he stares at our food intently now when we eat.

But no one can tell you for sure that eating more than just formula/breast milk will satisfy their bellies and keep them sleeping for longer periods of time. I remember Jenna being a difficult sleeper. I want to say that she got better after starting solids…but mostly I just remember how bad the whole bed-time routine with her was. So I intentionally started sleep training Jax from a young age…and he does well with putting himself to sleep – I just rock him until he’s drowsy and then I put him down. He usually wakes up when I lay him down, but soothes himself back to sleep with either his paci or his fist (no, he still hasn’t gotten the hang of just the thumb!).

Given all of that, I don’t think that it’s sleep training that we need to do. When he wakes, it’s a hunger cry and he eats the whole contents of the bottle. I can’t increase the amount of formula in his bottles, because if we do, he doesn’t eat any more than he’s currently consuming so it’s just wasted formula. He’s obviously filling up when he’s eating...at least, that's how I interpret him not finishing his fuller bottles.

When it’s not a hunger cry we soothe what we can and let him cry out what we can’t soothe. I think that we’re tackling it all okay…but maybe you have suggestions for me? Maybe we’re trying too many different things?

I don’t think that it’s a growth spurt…as it’s been going on for almost a month now. That’s one hell of a growth spurt if that’s what it is! He’s starting to drool more and more, but I don’t think that he’s quite into a teething stage, so that isn’t the problem either. At least, I don’t think any of this is the problem…

Can you tell me anything to try that I haven’t already tried??? The magic crack baby blanket does still work…and he’s adjusted to using the larger ones now too…so I no longer fear the day that he outgrows that one blanket. And we’re also sometimes getting him to sleep without being swaddled at all. Sometimes he likes it, sometimes he doesn’t. We play it all by ear…

So what are we doing wrong? Or am I just destined to have those kids that just don’t sleep? I’m sure it’s payback in some form for all the stress that I caused my own Mother…don’t you just hate that evil woman? (Payback, not my Mom…just to clarify!)

Now I understand why some employers groan aloud when a woman employee announces that she’s expecting. It’s not just the pregnancy that you have to get through…or even the maternity leave that causes problems. It could be the first year of parenthood that so many parents get through on little to no sleep, barely functioning at their “day jobs” while drinking 18 cups of coffee just to get through the 9 hour day. Yep, that could be it!

Don't forget to click over here and enter the give-away for a $20 CSN Stores gift certificate...the entries are still fairly low, which increases your odds of winning!!  The give-away ends tomorrow night - 11/4 so hurry up and enter!

Guys Don't Really Understand

Maybe you haven’t noticed, but posting has been “light” this week. That’s because our house isn’t sleeping all that much. Little man has a cold, and at three months old, there’s just not much that you can do to help them breathe better. Especially while eating…


So in case you’re behind, I thought that I’d recap the “score” like a football game since I live in Texas, and let’s face it – Texans live, sleep, eat and breathe football during this time of year…

Jaxon – 1,364,852   versus   Brent/Sandy – 14

Yeah, it’s pathetic, I know. We’re trying…we’re really trying…but nothing is working. Humidifier? Got it – but it’s not very effective since his “room” isn’t really a room. Vicks Baby Rub – been there and done that…makes it worse. Vicks plug-in to breathe better night-lite…works great…on us! Doesn’t seem to help him any. Sleeping upright or elevated? Check. Booger-sucker-thingy? Got two or three of them in action. You name it, we’re trying it…and still, there’s not much sleep to be had in our household.

But last night we decided that we would “divide and conquer” so to speak. I don’t like not sleeping with Brent, but at this point we are both running on fumes and need some sleep. So when Jax started up last night around 11:30pm, he and I vacated the bedroom so that Brent could get some sleep. Then Brent set his alarm for 3am to swap with me. We both got at least 3 hours of sleep…and that might be a record for both of us this week…

Around 1:30am this morning, I noticed that some of the congestion was actually coming out in the booger-sucker-thingy this time (what a relief!) and that it was green. That was somewhat alarming, as that means you’ve got an infection for an adult. So you know that I called the doctor’s office first thing this morning to check and make sure that I didn’t need to bring him in. They assured me that without fever or wheezing, there was really no need for alarm…even if I was worried about that infection settling in his little ears over the weekend…and we all know how much fun ear infections in infants are! Apparently it’s normal for babies’ snot to be green…according to the nurse anyway.

I was relieved and went about my morning. But guys? They just don’t really get it, or understand it all, I think. Case in point: I met Brent for a “lunch date” today (Day 6 of our Intimacy Challenge called for a date, IMO) and this was sort of how our conversation went:
Me: So I called the doctor’s office and they assured me that we’re doing all that we can, but there’s really nothing that they can do.

Brent: Does that mean that they don’t want to see him?

Me: Yes, that’s what that means. She said that we were doing everything already and without fever or wheezing there really wasn’t anything else to worry about.

Brent: But did you tell her about the green snot?

Me: (with some impatience entering my voice) Yes, honey. I did. She still said it was ok. I went on to explain why green snot is ok with infants…but won’t bore you all with the details.

Brent: Sooo…there’s not any medicine that they want to give him?

Me: Well…she did say that we could give him cold medicine, but he’s really too young. She said that in infants, the medicine doesn’t really provide the good benefits that it does in older people and the side effects are drastically increased in infants, which makes it unadvisable to give to them.

I was pretty sure that this should have been the end of the discussion, don’t you think? Apparently not…

Brent: Well, what are the side effects?

Me: (certain that I’d heard wrong) Huh?

Brent: Did you ask what the side effects are?

Me: Why would I ask what the side effects are? She said that they were risky and drastically worse than when given to adults…(really not seeing the point)

Brent: Yeah, but the major side effect of cold medicine is falling asleep. (Pauses expectantly) Isn’t that what we want?

Me: Babe!

Brent: I mean, if he sleeps for two days straight, wouldn’t that be a nice change of pace???

I started to stop talking at this point…

Brent: So I would have asked what the side effects are. Because if sleeping is the only thing, then I’m all for giving him the medicine.

Me: What if another side effect is anal leakage?

Brent: He’s already got anal leakage…that’s why he wears diapers!

I just looked at him – too shocked to continue.

Brent: Think about it, Sandy. Our parents gave us all kinds of crap back before someone told them that they weren’t supposed to. And we turned out ok. I know that my Dad used to dose me up with Nyquil. And I’m sure that I slept better for it. Don’t you think that would help?

Me: (trying to steer the conversation back into control) Well, no I don’t think that would be ok. She did mention that we could use Saline drops on him and that might help us get more of his congestion actually out when we booger-sucker him.

Brent: What are Saline drops?

Me: I think it’s like salt water. Helps dry out the congestion and loosen up the crusty boogers to come out.

Brent: Does it go in their eyes???

Me: No, babe. It goes up their nose.

Brent: Oh he’s gonna LOVE that. (Sarcastic is his middle name…) Wait a minute…you’re telling me that we can’t give him any medication, because it might have bad side effects, but that it’s ok to squirt salt water up his nose???

I knew that I should have stopped the conversation earlier. Don’t worry. We will NOT be administering any type of cold medicine to Jax this weekend, no matter how tired we get. I promise.

I hope that you have a good weekend…I’m going to try to get the new design for this blog finished up this weekend. I’m SO close…don’t worry, I’ll let you know when it’s all ready so that you can click out of your Reader and actually see it!

Oh, and if you’ve got any further suggestions for us to try with Jax’s cold…we’d REALLY LOVE to hear from you!!!

Christmas Lists and An Epiphany

There are definitely times when I am 100% positive that my kids are spoiled rotten. Like stinking-I-didn’t-even-OPEN-all-of-my-presents-last-year-rotten. True story – sad, but true. Then there are the other times…which are few and far between, but totally make me feel like I’m doing some good as a mother.

Yesterday, I was sitting in the living room floor working on my coupons. I was removing all the ones that had expired over the last week, and clipping the new ones from my Sunday paper. Jax was chilling in his Boppy pillow beside me, happily playing with is new favorite toy – his hands – and Jenna was sitting on the floor “helping” me. She really wanted to work the scissors for me, but was too lazy to run upstairs and get her kid-safe scissors and I wasn’t about to let her loose with my sharp kitchen shears! I’m happily clipping coupons and answering the 25 million questions that an eight year old can think of in the span of ten minutes when we started talking about Christmas.

It seemed to me that she was seeing a lot of things in the ads that she “wanted” so I suggested to her that she start her Christmas Wish List a little early this year. I know that we’ve got lots of Grandmas who need ideas…not to mention Mom needs some ideas too! She immediately got pencil and paper and set herself to her task. Like I said, I thought that she was finding plenty in the store ads to begin her list, so imagine my surprise when I see her only write down three or four things.

I asked her what she’d gotten written down so far, and wouldn’t you know it – there wasn’t a single thing on her list for her. She had listed a movie (How to Train your Dragon) for Brent, some game for Tanner’s PSP, a pretty dress that I had seen at JCP for me and was busily trying to find something in one of the ads for Jax when I stopped her. I tried to explain that this was supposed to be HER list…that these were things for other people, and I needed to know what SHE wanted…she said that she understood, but what made her most happy was everyone else getting what they wanted.

I completely stopped for a minute. My first thought? Who are you and what have you done with MY kid? You know, the one that always wants more…that gets dinner out and wants to know if we’re getting ice cream too…that has a brand-new toy and wants to know if she can have some candy too. But the next thought that hit me made me a little weepy. How sweet is it of her to put others before herself? I’ve been patiently (or not-so patiently) waiting for several years for the concept of how much she has or how lucky she is to really “sink in” that I couldn’t believe the day was already here. She was putting others before herself.

I made some suggestions for things that I thought that she would like to have, and she admitted that some of those might be nice to have. But nothing else was added to her list. Trying as hard as I did, I could NOT get her to write down one single thing that SHE wanted for Christmas. Now, granted her Christmas list last year also had something on it for everyone else (Mommy a new car, Brent a shotgun, etc.) but there was stuff there for her as well. Between last year and this year, she seems to understand that she doesn’t do without and she has everything she really needs.

I’m sure that it’s a fluke. It’ll all be different tomorrow…but just for the moment, I want to enjoy a really good thing. Maybe this is the year that our family will truly understand what it means to adopt an angel…our kids will understand that there are kids out there that are happy to receive the underwear, shirts, jeans, socks and shoes…those basic necessities that our kids can sometimes take for granted. We’ve done a lot of giving this year…between toy donations, outgrown clothes and putting money into cause boxes at stores…I hope that it’s all paying off and she’s seeing/understanding that richness isn’t measured in what you have.

It’s what you give. It’s being able to give. Even if it means that you don’t get the new DS game that you really want, but would probably lose in the mix of your 25 other DS games. It felt mean this summer to make them start paying for their own treats – like snow cones and ice cream stops and little nickel and dime toys – but maybe earning your allowance does make you appreciate the value of money and how much gets spent on a daily basis. (I know that it’s supposed to do that, but it seems like so many days it really is taking a long time to sink in!)

The kids buy their own toys.  The kids are finishing their meals when we eat out, now that we don’t eat out as often – it’s more of a treat and they know if they don’t finish, we might not come back as quickly. Or maybe they just don’t like PB&J like I do!  And every once in a while, Jenna offers to pay for my scoop of Chocolate Chip ice cream at Baskin Robbins.

It might stink to be a parent most of the time…teaching your kids these valuable lessons to make them better people is no fun at all…but every once in a while it can truly pay off and you see the bigger picture. You know - the one that you’re not privy to most of the time.  It happened for me this weekend when my child made out her Christmas list with not one single item on there for herself.


How do you teach your kids these things?  More importantly, how do I continue to broaden her horizons, so to speak, and encourage her along these lines even more?  Because I sure don't want to lose the momentum that we've got at the moment!

Are You A Goal-Setter?

I’m really curious to know. I’m not. Well, that’s not entirely true. I have goals. I set targets in my mind…I’m really good at planning, just not so good at the execution stage of the game. And I’m no good at things like New Year’s Resolutions. Never set them. I don’t have a 5-year plan. Or even a 10-year plan.

You would think that an organized, anal-retentive type-A person like myself would have these things, wouldn’t you? I mean, I have some goals in mind, but nothing set in concrete or anything actually written out on paper. And those goals can change at any given moment…for any given reason. So yeah, pretty much that means that I just don’t have them, right?

By now you’re probably wondering where I’m going with this, huh? I know that I have a tendency to “ramble” a bit…understatement of the year! When I wrote the other day about how I’ve managed to save almost $500 in less than two months’ time, it really got me thinking. It made me think about how I did that without even really trying to do that…so what could I do if I set my mind to it? How could I make my money (what little I might have!) work smarter for me so that I could save even more?

What I mean by that is that if I applied a little bit of what I’ve learned in the past two months to more of my financial “life” how much could I really end up saving? If I could save $500 in two month’s time…doing nothing more than clipping a few coupons and shopping a little bit smarter…what could I save if I really TRIED?!?! If I did just what I did the past two months, I could feasibly save somewhere around $3,000 over the course of a year. So if I could do that without really trying, then what could I do if I tried?

And what if actually took the money that I saved each week and put it into a special spot? Like a new account, or my sock drawer, or wherever it is that I like to squirrel my money away to…would watching it add up motivate me that much more? I think that it would…I mean, if $500 could motivate me to do all of this thinking, what would seeing $1,000 or more do?

I talked it over with Brent the other night, and although he doesn’t exactly share my “level of enthusiasm” about the topic of money and savings that I do…he sure does like the rewards that it brings about and he’s on board with whatever I want to do. I think that I’ll continue to do what I’m doing for the rest of this calendar year, but maybe try to incorporate my goal into a New Year’s Resolution of sorts. I know, I know, it’s only October! But believe me, the holidays are right around the corner and it’s a small miracle that my Mom hasn’t asked us for our Xmas list yet…so thinking about a New Year’s Resolution this early isn’t really all that early.

I think that it’s not too early to think about these things, mainly because in order to make my money work smarter, I need to really take an honest look at how we spend our money. I think that I know what we spend money on, but I really need to take the time to look at our actual budget versus my “in theory” budget because I’m sure there’s a vast difference between the two! That means pulling financial records on all of our accounts and really looking at the transactions…maybe making some charts and graphs and doing all those nerdy things that makes me happy…insert happy, longing sigh here.

And since this is all new to me…the lone person in the room that doesn’t actually set goals or resolutions…I’m wondering how you all set your goals. Or if you even do. Maybe I’m not in the minority as much as I think that I am!

When do you start thinking about your goals? How early is too early? Do you start thinking about them now…or the night before/after the new year starts?

Do you physically write them out somewhere? Do you publish them to at least one other person so that you’re a little more accountable?

How do you celebrate when you meet your goal? What happens if you don’t meet your goal?

These are all things that I’m wondering about as I start making my “savings plan” for 2011. I also think that I need a catchy sort of name for it…Brent laughs and rolls his eyes at me…but I’m a girl and if that’s what I want to do, then that’s what I’ll do! I’m still working on that aspect of it…the name seems slightly less important than the actual goal itself, although there are days that I might actually argue that point.

Any advice that you could throw my way would be really appreciated! I’m trying to fumble through it…but a little help never hurts…LOL!

Digital Photo Software Question?

A question for my other bloggy friends out there in the blog-o-sphere…

Do you use a photo editing software, and if so, which one?

I used to have Photoshop and I loved it. I wanted Photoshop Elements for V-Day one year, and instead Brent hooked me up with a full copy of Photoshop from a friend of his…lucky me! Yes, it was daunting learning how to use it without manuals, but there were tons and tons of tutorials online that I found to guide me through the rough spots at first. It was definitely “more program” than I actually needed, but hey – it was free!

Since then, that computer has died. Like it went down in flames, still smoking, died. I could probably plug it in, fire it up and snag all of my media files off of it…but that’s about it. And I can’t take any programs off because I’m not techy smart enough to know how to do that!

We’ve replaced the computer (actually we’ve bought two since that one died if you count my birthday present) and now I have the time (some days) to where I want to work on my Photoshop stuff again. But of course, being frugal me…I don’t want to pay for it. Or at least, I don’t want to pay hundreds of dollars for something that I could find for around $100 that would work just as good for my purposes.

Here’s a list of what I’ve tried:

I tried to download a trial version of PS Elements to see if it had everything that I previously used since the price tag was much better at around $80. But the free trial won’t finish downloading and therefore won’t run. I don’t know. I’ve tried it on two different computers and nothing works…

Then I kept reading on other blogs about The GIMP. So I downloaded it and worked with it for a few weeks. And it’s ok. I could do most of what I like to do with it, eventually. There’s really nothing wrong with it that I can think of…but I don’t think it’s got everything. I don’t know. But it’s FREE, which is so cool.

Then I read about some designers liking Corel Paint Shop Pro, and I downloaded a trial version of it. It worked, and is what I’ve been using for the past two weeks. I like it. It reminds me a LOT of my beloved Photoshop…and with a price tag between $60-100 depending on the version that you purchase, that fits in my budget a LOT better. My only real complaint with PSP is that I can’t find any brushes online like I used to use with PS. I have found sites that say they have PSP brushes, and I download them and then they won’t import into my version of PSP. Maybe it’s user error, I don’t really know.

Here’s what I’m trying to use the program for:

Basic editing on photos – nothing fancy - making some b&w, putting on some basic filters to liven up the colors or make it antique looking.

Digital scrapbooking – I love, love, love to scrap book. Or at least, I used to. I would love to do this digitally, and I’ve made a few tentative layouts learning how the whole process works and could really see this being a nice creative outlet for me just like paper scrapping was.

Digital design – sort of like the scrapbooking…I’ve been using PSP to help “make over” this blog. (A reveal is coming soon, I promise!) I’m getting close to being finished, at least for now. But I use the software to make the backgrounds, buttons and header for my new layout…but pretty basic stuff.

Card design – I made most of the stationary for our wedding, including invites, thank yous, save the dates, etc. I enjoy doing that and have since made personalized cards for family and friends which I would love to do more of. This is where the brushes come in…I just seem to be able only to find the PS brushes…

So, knowing all of that, is there anyone out there that can offer me some advice? Do you know where I can find brushes for Paint Shop Pro? Or do you have PS Elements and you’re able to do all that I want to do with it? Maybe you know of something that I haven’t tried? I’m open to suggestions…thanks!

Coupon Cutting Tips

It seems that saving money struck a chord within several of you guys, so I thought that I would continue from my post the other day about how I’m saving money each month and offer up some more tips/advice/things that I’ve learned over the last few months. Some of this is common sense stuff, but if you’re like me, sometimes you have to spell it all out to really “get it.”

In regards to coupons, be careful about coupons where you have to buy multiple items to get larger savings. Like buy three of this item to save $1. If it’s a perishable good, you might not be able to use all three items in time, and you spent more money than you might have to begin with. Remember that the #1 rule is to not spend money that you wouldn’t normally spend. For example, when I had a coupon for $1 off Pop Tarts, but I had to buy three boxes, that was an ok coupon for me since I eat Pop Tarts at work…and they won’t go bad over the course of time. But when I had a coupon for $2 off a frozen breakfast entrée that I thought we would like to try, I didn’t end up using it since I would have had to buy 2 of them and I didn’t know that we’d like it. I’ll wait for them to go on a normal mark-down sale and try one box…then look for the coupon again if we like them and they’ll keep.

Also, be sure to read the fine print. A lot of times, companies will put a picture of the most expensive item in their line, but the coupon is actually good for ANY item in their line. You don’t always have to buy what’s in the picture…but sometimes the coupon is ONLY good for the item shown in the picture. You have to read it to know for sure.

Try to stack your coupons. If your coupon is a manufacturer’s coupon (what comes from Red Plum, SmartSource, P&G or coupons.com typically are manufacturer’s coupons) and your local grocery store is running a sale on the item, you can usually score double! You would get the store discount AND the manufacturer’s discount. For example, that same coupon mentioned earlier for the Pop Tarts? It just happened that Wal-Mart had all Pop Tarts marked down the week that I bought them as just a regular Wal-Mart roll back…so I not only saved the $1 from the manufacturer, but I also saved an additional $.50 per box from Wal-Mart. I basically got one box free, if you think about it. Just be careful that the discount the store is offering isn’t the manufacturer’s discount…some drug stores offer the manufacturer’s discounts but cleverly disguise it as their own coupon. If that happens, your coupon won’t work because you can only use a discount/coupon code once unless otherwise stated.

Start out knowing what you pay for items. This is just good shopping sense overall, and something that my Mom taught me at an early age. I noticed that my boyfriend’s Mom would go to Sam’s Club and buy all of their groceries there, whereas my Mom would just buy certain things from Sam’s Club. When I asked her why she did that, she explained about cost/item or cost/pound (ounce) and that just because it’s sold in bulk doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s cheaper to buy in bulk. You have to know what the price of detergent is normally to know if a store is running a good sale on the item. This is also true on coupons. I had a coupon for Lysol disinfecting wipes, when we would normally buy the Clorox brand. When I got the store, I had my coupon out and ready to use when I looked/compared the two brands on the shelf before I added anything to my cart. Yes, I had a coupon for the Lysol brand, but the Clorox price (not on sale) was still cheaper to buy even without a coupon. So, I threw that coupon away and didn’t use it. You have to be a smart shopper! (Thanks MOM!)

When I know that I’m going to the grocery store for a few items, I will typically take a minute and glance through my coupons before going inside just to see if there’s something else that I might want to go ahead and pick up. You know, something that we NEED. You don’t want to drive all over town and spend the money that you’ve saved using coupons on extra gas money! Make your shopping trips count.

"Friend" your favorite stores.  These days, most stores offer an email list that you can get signed up on for extra/additional savings that in most cases are just offered to their "fans."  My favorites?  JoAnn's, Kohl's, Carter's/Osh Kosh, JC Penney (they offer GREAT incentives to their email listing!) and Babies R Us.  I also like BRU and their Rewards club...I've gotten several $5 off coupons through their points program - they add up faster that you will expect.  I have also joined a mailing list (email or snail mail) if I think that it's a store that I'll start shopping at if they have good coupons/discounts offered, and then later go back and cancel if I find that I don't like the store as much as I thought that I would...that's okay to do too!  You can usually get anywhere from $5 off your next purchase on up to 10-20% off of everything in the store...great deals!  I clip these down or fold them to also fit into my accordian coupon file so that I always have them with me when I'm out and about.

Keep up with what you’re saving. Although none of this takes that long to do, and most of it can be done while watching TV, sometimes it seems tedious and time consuming. (I do mine in small steps, because life with an infant in the house is unpredictable at best, and I’ve found that doing things in stages that can be put down and picked back up to finish later works best for me.) But when I go to the store, use 10 coupons and then look at my receipt and realize that I only saved $3.89 it can be discouraging. That’s why it’s important to keep up a tally of your total savings…not just trip to trip. In the spirit of things, I think that I’ll put up a counter on my blog so that I can share what I’ve saved for the year so far…updating the total each week. I think that would be interesting to watch it grow and help keep me motivated!

As always, the things that I'm sharing here with you are what works for ME. It might not be the best way, it's definitely not the only way, and there might be a better way out there to do it...but this is MY way.  There are some others who would argue directly against some of the tips that I think help my way work better...and that's ok.  That doesn't mean that their way is wrong, or that my way is wrong for that matter.  It just means that there are several options and methodsto achieve the same goal.  You have to find the plan that works best for YOU.  My way might not be it...I just wanted to share with you in case it was something that might work for you. 

If you clip coupons, do have some other tips to share with me? Like maybe someone could explain to me how CVS membership works…it seems SO confusing to me that I haven’t even attempted to tackle THAT one! I’d love to hear about your tips and tricks…

Post-Partum Hair Loss?

Is there such a thing, do you know? Because if there is, I HAVE IT.

My Mom is going to think that this post is silly because my whole entire life I have shed hair like a dog. Like enough to make a person sweeping the floors (Mom) ask herself why I’m not bald yet!

I’ve always been a shedder, but this is getting ridiculous.

And blog world, I do love you, truly I do. I went and grabbed my camera with the intent to take a picture to quantify how much hair loss is happening to me right now. But I stopped myself before taking the picture. Why? I already told you – because I love you! Trust me, no one wants to see a picture of a hair ball. Especially if it’s not your OWN hair ball. If you do, you’ve probably got bigger issues than I can address in this post…LOL!

I know that I make a lot of comparisons that start with the phrase “when I had my daughter.” Forgive me - it’s all I have to compare with so I probably overdo it a bit.

With that being said, when I had my daughter my hair changed so I was expecting a change this time around as well. Last time, my hair went from naturally curly (like REALLY curly) to just plain frizzy. There was just enough curl left in my hair to make you wish I had worn a hat before I went out that day. Seriously, it was bad. To fix the problem, I got a perm. For the first time in my life. Although it was a bit too curly at first, and I stunk for the next three weeks when my hair was wet…it did the trick and my hair returned to its normal curliness.

I’m not really sure what to do about hair loss. About losing a Barbie-doll amount of hair each time that I wash my hair. I don’t know about you, but something’s telling me that a perm isn’t going to fix this one! And since this is something that I’ve dealt with my whole life, you’ve got to understand that this is an alarming amount of hair falling out of my head if I think that it’s a lot! My husband of almost a year still isn’t used to the amount of hair that I lose on a monthly basis (since he’s the sweetheart who snakes the drain for me!)…but I look at the glob that had the drain stuck and just sort of shrug it off.

I can’t shrug off this amount.

So here’s what I want to know, if I may be so bold as to ask. Did this happen to you? Or someone that you know of? Or someone that your best friend’s aunt’s neighbor’s cousin's friend knew of someone else experiencing? Because I’d really like to think that this is normal…and will stop soon…you know, before I’m really bald this time, Mom!

(As an aside, I can say that I’m still taking my prenatal vitamins (since I’m nursing Jax) and hopefully my hair is growing at a rate that is equal to the rate that I’m losing it at. My hair doesn’t feel any thinner at any other time during the day. Of COURSE it feels thinner right after I wash it and have to throw large handfuls away…but at no other time does it appear more thin to me. Then again, that could be wishful thinking!! LOL!)

No Whammies! No Whammies!!

I know, I know…posting was pretty “light” so to speak last night. Sorry – I had a VERY bad headache and just enough energy to wash bottles, feed Jax (while watching that movie on TV) and get to bed. It came up out of the blue, and I really can’t say what caused it.

Could I be allergic to work?!?! Hee hee!

Just kidding. But I did get some really good news from the work-front yesterday. Our company in the past paid out a yearly bonus, but in recent years (like the last two years) just like every other company that’s been struggling through the recession the bonuses were not paid out. Yesterday, just when we had all given up hope of ever getting a bonus again, an email went out notifying us that the bonus would be paid this year. Better late than never, right? I’m already spending the money in my mind, which begs a question to mind.

What do you do when you get an unexpected “windfall” of money? I’m not talking about lots and lots of money, but more than just a little bit. Are you smart with the money? Or do you “play” with it?

I usually go a mix of the two, if it’s enough money. You know, put a big chunk of it towards something smart – paying off debt, increasing our savings account, purchasing some stocks - and then take a little (much smaller chunk) and do something fun with it. This time around I’m at a loss as to what “fun” thing that I would like to do.

We didn’t do anything really spectacular over the summer with the kids, since I was 435 weeks pregnant for half of the summer…so part of me says that we should do something fun with/for them. I need two new tires on my car…and Brent needs an alignment on his truck…but those don’t really qualify as “fun” things, do they?

We both have new phones…I have a laptop and our home computer is brand new…we both have iPods and don’t really need an iPad. Brent would say that we need a new TV for the living room, but I would disagree. He only says that so that the current TV in the living room (which is less than 3 years old) can be moved into the garage/man cave. I don't necessarily rank this item with the importance that Brent does!

I have a nice camera. And we have all the big items that we needed for Jax as far as baby items go…so I’m truly at a loss on what to do.

So I’ll turn the question over to you, dear readers…what would YOU do? Maybe one of you will inspire me about something that I’ve been wanting and haven’t splurged on…let’s set a limit of $500 since the practical, anal-retentive side of me will have to do something smart with the rest of the money, I just can’t help it!

Routines, Routines and More Routines

So I mentioned the other day that we were starting to get on a routine. Well...scratch that! Starting daycare has apparently thrown my routine out the window! I'm a little frustrated, but hoping that it's an adjustment thing...we'll see.



I still want to do this post though, so we'll talk about what my routine USED to be. You know, back in the BD days - Before Daycare...



Let's start at the beginning...no, not when I had baby Jax, but back 8 years ago when I had my daughter. Back when I was pregnant with Jenna, my SIL gave me a book to read. It was called On Becoming Baby Wise, and she shared with my Mom that it was the BEST book ever for new moms.

source

SIL swore by the success of her own kids sleeping patterns and what-not and attributed all of that success to this book. So I read it. Then I read it again, to make sure that I wasn't mistaken in my initial thoughts...And then I decided for certain that this man had A) never had kids or B) smoked crack. Now, keep in mind that at this time in my life, I was all of 25 years old...worldly in all of my wisdom on children and sleeping and routines and at that stage in my life, I pretty much knew better than most what I was doing and how I was going to do it. You know, because I was an "expert" on kids...

Yeah, if you've stopped laughing along with me, then I'll continue! Anyway, to sum what I remember up (since I think that I actually threw the book away because I was so certain of points A and B mentioned above) the book follows the basic principal that most parents have trouble getting their kids to sleep because they do not realize how essential routines are to babies. And not just ANY routine, but there is a certain order to follow in your routines. These "doctors" went on to say that most parents follow the routine of eat, sleep, play and repeat. When in reality, babies really need to follow the routine of eat, play and THEN sleep. And not just any sleep, but sleep coming from putting themselves to sleep. As in, no rocking, no soothing, just letting them cry themselves to sleep if that's what it took. And this is where I started thinking that maybe they smoked crack: the book encouraged parents to regularly let their children cry themselves to sleep. Even if that meant letting them cry for an hour...

This was all questionable in theory to my 25 year-old brain, but when I tried to actually act on their lessons and teachings? Oh not just no, but HELL NO was I going to slowly drive myself insane by not comforting my child. She's crying! She needs me! (These are the thoughts that I had back then...and the ones that led me to toss Baby Wise into the never-need-to-read-again pile of books since I was joking about throwing it away!)

So long story short, I really showed those guys who knew best. I followed my own "wise" instincts and raised my daughter as I saw fit. I adjusted my schedule to fit her schedule and we all jumped to her call. The results of that? My daughter cried all the time. She slept only if you held her. And then she only took little cat naps during the day lasting maybe 30 minutes. And you couldn't put her down without waking her up. Yeah, who's laughing now? It wasn't me!

This time around, I was determined to do things differently. Although I still wasn't 100% sold on the Baby Wise practices, my 33 year-old self could now reasonably process the bulk of what those guys were trying to say and make a much better attempt at working their routine in this time around. For one thing, I was the anti-holding-the-baby-Nazi for the first week of his life. My poor Mom, you guys. She came for his birth and stayed for a week and every time those first few days that she even looked like she was going to pick him up, I was all "Don't you touch him!" and "Don't hold him until he falls alseep, just put him down!" I don't know that it was all that much fun for her. Luckily, I noticed the little tears in her eyes before she left and I relaxed the rules about holding him after the first few days.

She probably laughed at me, but I was serious about not repeating the mistakes that I had made previously. I created the monster of a baby that my daughter was, and I was woman enough to admit to it, own up to it and make the attempt to not do so again. So this time around, I changed things up quite a bit. We've already discussed the "no holding" policy that was in effect for the first two weeks. And truth be told, as long as he was swaddled up, or in his Boppy pillow, he was truly fine with not being held. It didn't seem to bother him all that much.

I also saw that there was some validity to the eat, play and then sleep theory. I know that the first few weeks or month of their lives, babies don't really do much other than eat or sleep (and poop!), so adjustments are to be made for those weeks, but now that we're past the 6 week mark, Jax has more alert periods. Times when he comes close to "playing" if you will. And I try to make sure that those periods immediately follow his feeding times. He eats, then lays around and plays, and then eventually falls asleep. If he gets cranky after playing for a while and won't fall asleep on his own, then I've got him "trained" to recognize the swaddle. If he gets swaddled tightly, then that means that it's nap time, and lights out for Jax.

And for the most part, he's ok with that. Sure, there are still times that he fights the swaddle (mainly at bedtime) but during the day, after he's played and I can tell that he's ready to go to sleep, the fighting is minimal if it's even present. More often than not, he goes right off to sleep for a little nap. That nap might be taken in his Boppy pillow, maybe on a quilt on the floor, in his crib or in his swing...depends on his mood. But either way, he's put into/onto those places while wide awake or at least drowsily awake. Then he puts himself to sleep.

The cycle repeats every three hours. Right now, or BD times, he was on a pretty tight schedule where his feedings were at 8a, 11a, 2p and 5p during the day. So he would eat at 8a, then he would spend between 30-45 minutes "playing" or just alert and awake, and then he would pass the rest of the three hour window asleep. He would usually wake himself up within 15 minutes of the next feeding time, and every once in a while go 15 minutes past his feeding time. I rarely let it get more than 30 minutes out of whack though...and he seems fine with that.

Keeping to this tight schedule during the day seems to help his nights as well. He takes his "bedtime" bottle at 8p, then gets his bath (for his awake time) and then he's tightly swaddled and rocked for a little bit. I do not rock him to sleep. I rock him until he quits struggling against the swaddle or until his eyes get a little droopy looking. Once he gets to that stage, I put him down in his crib. Sure, I try not to disturb him too much in the process, but if I do, no big deal. His eyes are usually at least partially open when I put him down, and then he starts to settle himself down. I won't lie - some nights go better than others. Some nights he puts himself to sleep in about 15 minutes, and other nights it can take almost an hour. Most nights it takes less than 30 minutes though, and by 9:15-9:30 he's down for the night. During the time that he's putting himself down, I don't typically pick him back up, and I don't stand right there beside the crib either. I stay in the room, close enough to hear him, but not watching him intently. While I do other things, like get myself ready for bed, I will give him his pacifier again as needed since he tends to spit it out repeatedly - it's a fun little game that we play.

Becuase he's adjusted to this pattern, this is how the middle of the night feedings go too, and there are two of them. Typically he sleeps until around 1a and wakes to be fed. I feed him, then swaddle him tightly again and rock him for a few minutes to that drowsy point. Then he goes down into his crib and I walk away with him still awake. We play the fun pacifier game for a bit, and the time on it varies from night to night. Usually it's less than 15 minutes, but he still gives me a run for my money some nights and takes almost an hour to fall back asleep. He'll wake again around 5a hungry, and we'll go through the same routine again, including a diaper change at this point. The good news? If he doesn't go right back to sleep after the 1a feeding, meaning he's awake for a bit, then the 5a feeding is as smooth as butter. He's tired and worn out and pretty much "eats" himself to sleep at the 5a feeding.

We start the whole process over again at 8a...and the day continues on. He's starting to stay awake for longer periods of time this week, and I've noticed that he's taking a really good nap after the 11a feeding and just shorter "cat naps" after the 8a and 2p feedings, which is good. I give him enough room to make him think that he's calling the shots, but I run a pretty tight ship. I think that it's good to show him early on that women rule his world...it'll make it easier on him later in life! LOL! Just kidding...

So that's our routine right now. Like I mentioned before, starting day care yesterday threw "our routine" into a tail spin, but he still did pretty good once at home. We'll see how the rest of the week goes before I make any final rulings on this transition.

What sort of routine do you follow? Are you having success with it? I'm curious to know if I just had a "difficult" first baby...or if others see a big difference in using a routine the second time around when maybe you didn't use one so much with the first child...

Just Randomness

There is randomness in my head tonight...it happens to all of us bloggers every once in a while and we just need to do a "brain/blog dump" to make it all go away!

So here are my thoughts (in no particular order):

Sleeping "in" is the shit! I didn't have to get Jenna up and ready for school, not to mention actually taking her to school, this morning, so I was able to sleep until the late hour of 8:15am!! Of course, I was up at 1am and 5 am feeding the little guy, so maybe now 8:15am doesn't sound too late to you either...but I swear to you, not having to get up at 6am and do the whole morning routine was the coolest thing ever this morning. Let's pray for a repeat tomorrow morning...along with a repeat on the night schedule and the ease at which he went back to sleep last night...

My little man is getting his routine down, and I'm thinking that routines are the best thing ever for little babies. I've got a post working in my head on this topic, so more on sharing our routine and those thoughts later...but as related to randomness #1 even his nights are falling into a fairly steady routine. Of course, as soon as I say that it'll all go down the drain! Man, I hope that I didn't just jinx myself!!

My heart goes out tonight to Heather over at Live.Laugh.Love. If you don't read her blog, you should, but even if your Reader is too full already, you might want to pop on over there and follow along with them for a little while. She gave birth a week ago...but she was only 27 or 28 weeks pregnant, so her little man Brayden was born 12 week premature. They're documenting their experiences going through such an early delivery and all, and it's really just heart-wrenching and heart-warming all at the same time. Wrenching because you hate to see this happen to anyone...and warming because Heather and her husband D have just stepped up to the plate/challenge and are becoming the best parents ever, even if it was a bit earlier than they planned on. You might notice the Praying for Brayden button that I put up to the right of my blog...please join me in keeping them in your thoughts and prayers during these next few critical weeks!

Here's a question (and the real reason that I started this post tonight!) for all of my C-section Moms out there. You all usually come through for me so well when I have questions, so feel free to help me out with comments below if this sounds familiar. Or even if it doesn't sound familiar and you think that I should be more alarmed than I seem to be!

Here's the question: when you had your C-section, did you have a lingering pain on or around the incision site? Like not a surface level pain, but something that feels more like it's from the internal incision? Let me explain a little better...sometimes when I stand up after sitting in certain positions, or bend over in certain ways, or even stretch across to reach something just out of my reach, I feel a little tug around what I think of as the "internal incision." And I use the words "little tug" very loosely, sometimes it's sharp enough to make me pause and grab that spot. But here's the thing - it's only on the right side. Never on the other side. I mentioned it to the nurses at the hospital (yes, I've had it for THAT long now!) and they assured me that it was totally normal to have that on the side where the incision was started. And they further told me that my doctor usually starts from the right side, so it made sense. But should I STILL be having it? I mean, it's been six weeks. I know that the body can take time to heal and all, but it's been SIX WEEKS. I have my six-week check up tomorrow morning, so I'll be sure to mention it to my doctor, but I just wondered if any of you had experienced anything like this...

And since it doesn't feel right to leave you without a picture of the little guy, here's a sneak peek for you...I took some pics today to compare 3 weeks to 6 weeks and here's a preview:
I know, I know...I'm so mean. That shot doesn't show ANYTHING! But it's pretty darn accurate - he IS totally handsome! :)

Tummy Time - Love/Hate?

Well, I'm hoping that this is normal for most babies...so I'll ask my other Moms out there and see what kind of response I get.

Does your infant love...or hate...tummy time?

Jax passed his one month mark last week, actually almost a week and a half ago so we tried tummy time for a little while this past weekend. I can't really say with any degree of believability that it was a rousing success. He does SO well holding his head up off of our shoulders now that I thought that it was time to try some tummy time. But maybe I jumped the gun a bit.

Here's some pics so that you can decide...At first he's just hanging out, not really sure what's going on...

Then he's like "Hey, what a minute...something's different here."

He does manage to lift his head up and turn it a few times, just checking out the situation...

And now he's NOT that happy with this new thing!

Finally, he's back in his "normal" position on his Boppy and he's thinking "Now THIS is more like it!"

Yeah, I know that he's still cute, Mom...but I don't really think that he was all that crazy about tummy time.

Maybe that's just the way that it's supposed to be at first. You try new things and since it's a new thing, they're not sure how to respond. Maybe he'll grow to like it. And yes, we tried it both with the Boppy and without the Boppy...there wasn't much difference in how he reacted. It was all around a "what the heck are you doing NOW you crazy lady?" look on his face no matter if I used the pillow or not.

Oh well. I'm sure it won't be the last time in his life that he has THAT thought!! LOL!

So what do you think Moms...did your little one take to tummy time immediately, or did he/she grow to love it? Or would getting one of those tummy time play mats maybe help things out? I hadn't thought about that before...or maybe am I trying tummy time a bit too early?

What do you think?

Am I crazy or what?!?!

For those of you that actually know me in real life, not just through the blog world, some of what I’m about to say might come as a surprise to you. That’s just fair warning. Then again, actually knowing me, reading these rambles might just make you laugh out loud...who knows?

So there are lots of options out there for babies. There’s birth options, feeding options, diaper options, care-giver options...it’s almost enough to overwhelm a person. For some people, some of these options are decided for them because of their current situation or personal choice. For others, lots of research and making an informed decision is the only way to go. For me, I like to “fly by the seat of my pants” for the most part – or “go with my gut.” It’s not that I don’t research my options before I make a choice. It’s not that I don’t really care one way or the other, so I take the easiest course. That’s not it at all. In fact, more often that not I have very strong feelings on these topics, but I can’t really tell you WHY I have those feelings. Or why I’ve made the choices that I have. Is that odd? Man, I hope not!

So lately, with this new pregnancy, several options have come up for me to consider...and I’m finding myself actually considering things that I would have NEVER thought myself capable of considering.

I was young when I had my daughter (25) and my situation decided several of the baby options for me. For instance, I didn’t have maternity leave per se. Yes, I got paid, but since I worked for my in-laws, there was a little bit of grumbling and complaining about being paid...and being the honest person that I am, I felt bad that they were paying me a salary when I wasn’t working. (I know, I know...I look back now and wonder why I was SO stupid!) But regardless, I took less than 4 weeks off of work when I had J. I was at work the day before I had her, worried about payroll getting finished while in L&D, and then was back at work less than a month later, almost full-time. And as their business is in construction, I worked with mainly men. Because of the short time off that I knew ahead of time was/wasn’t coming, I chose not to breastfeed my daughter.

I know, some of you out there are shocked and horrified. But it’s what happened, and to be 100% honest, I had no strong desire to breastfeed. And a wise person told me while I was pregnant that if I had no strong desire to do so, then I probably should not attempt it. So I didn’t. Did I worry at the time about the “damage” that I would be doing to my child? Yes. All the time. Especially when I had trouble finding a formula that worked for her. But you know what? She’s totally fine. A little on the small side, but she comes by that honestly, and she’s had (knock on wood) NO major health problems or concerns for her entire life. In fact, I would go so far as to say that she’s an extremely healthy child. Rarely sick and has had no problem with her immune systems to speak of. I’ve probably just jinxed her with catching something awful now...

It seems that my choice not to breastfeed my child due to circumstance and personal choice didn’t have an adverse affect on her growth and development. And yes, she’s very smart. Cute too, but I think that maybe I’m biased on that fact! So imagine my surprise when I’m finding myself actually considering breastfeeding this time around.

If you think that you’re shocked (Mom) image my surprise! Why would I change the way that obviously worked for me before? I don’t really know. I don’t regret my decision to not breastfeed with my daughter, but maybe I might want to experience it this time around. Maybe knowing that I’ve got three months off of work (with no grumbles or questions asked) has something to do with it. Maybe not. And I’m not sold on the idea yet...so maybe it’s time for me to do a little research and make my decision.

Another shocking thing that I find myself considering? Cloth diapering. I know, color me crazy. I mean, there are boxes of Huggies actually on my baby registry at BRU...so why in the world would I consider it? I don’t really know. Can’t explain it. My daughter did JUST FINE on Huggies, and I didn’t find the smell of diapers in the house all that bothersome. And the thought of the space that they’re taking up in our nation’s landfills? Not a concern for me, and I know that makes me a horrible person. But I find myself drawn to some blogs of Moms who made this decision and love it. (Like this one and this one) And then I find myself wondering about it all...is it better for my baby? I mean, talk about the $$ that you’d save alone! I remember how much we spent on diapers when my daughter was a baby and what a financial relief it was to get her potty-trained! They make the cutest cloth diapers these days, with excellent covers and doo-dads to help with the leaking that used to be so prevalent with cloth diapers. Disposable diapers aren’t perfect and they have leaks too, so that really shouldn’t be an argument anymore. And they all say that a breastfed baby’s diapers aren’t the messes that formula-fed diapers are...so maybe these two decision go hand in hand. I don’t know.

And do you want to hear the latest thing? Are you sure that you can handle it? If you’ve made it this far, then this one isn’t that much of a stretch...making my own baby food. Now, for those of you who don’t know me in real life...I’m not at all organic. I’m not vegan or anything close to it as I dislike most vegetables. I love fast food and pizza. I like to eat out. I do not buy things based on what preservatives might be in there and there is nothing labeled as “Sugar Free” in my house. Don’t judge. I do not buy homegrown in most cases...in fact, right now, there’s barely enough food in my fridge at home to call it respectable. So WHY on earth would I latch onto the idea of making my own baby food. Once again, J was raised on Gerber in the jars and it worked fine. No problems. I wouldn’t even consider it expensive, since you lose the cost of all the formula...but something about it just appeals to me. It seems so easy, check here and here if you don’t believe me, and there are lots of Moms out there who do this and swear by it. (Like this one) Of course she tasted all food before feeding it to her baby (like my friend Amanda) and with my immense dislike of most vegetables that did NOT happen in my house!

With all of that being said, I have no idea right now which direction I’m leaning. I registered for things as I did them last time. Meaning that there are bottles, formula and disposable diapers on my registry with no mention of nipple butter, breast pumps, or nursing pads. So as of right now, I’m holding to the status quo...but that could all change in a heartbeat. I haven’t even talked with B about all of this...except for the breastfeeding thing...maybe I should. Perhaps he has strong views on subjects like cloth diapers and homemade baby food...that should be a good topic of conversation for our lunch today! They’re pretty much just random thoughts floating around in my head at the moment...you know, things that I thought that I would share with you guys!

I hope that I haven’t offended anyone with my discussion today, please know that it was not my intention. There are lots of people out there with VERY passionate opinions on these subjects, and I’m not trying to argue or debate the merits of any of these choices. To me, they are very PERSONAL choices, and I respect both sides of the argument. I think that each decision should be made on how you feel and that’s that. I just don’t happen to feel strongly about any of it at the moment...but I’d better hurry up – the clock is ticking!

How Do I Handle This?

I come to you for advice now...this is something that I’ve started having to deal with almost daily...and I’m really not sure what to do anymore. I’ve tried to address it the best that I can, but I’m running out of ideas on what to say next. Seven-year old kids ask the BEST questions...and have the biggest fears.

Let me back up about two years...my daughter was around 5 at the time, and B and I had been dating for about 6 months. B had come over after work one evening and taken J and I out to eat, and we were riding in his truck headed back to my apartment. Everything is fine – we’re laughing and joking – had a yummy meal at Chick-Fil-A with no problems whatsoever. So imagine my surprise when I glance over my shoulder to the back seat where J was sitting to check on her and find her in tears. Like not just baby tears, but BIG crocodile tears streaming down her face and she’s almost sobbing out loud.

Shocked, I ask what’s wrong and the answer that I get surprises me. I’ll try to make this short and sweet and condense where I can...she tells me that she’s upset because she doesn’t want to ever have babies. This is not what I’m expecting to hear, and on further discussions (like an hour later) I find out the full story. Apparently a friend of J’s dad was pregnant at the time and she (who did NOT have any other children or any experience with kids before) decided to tell MY child where babies come from. Not the specifics about how they’re made (thank God that she had a little bit of sense!) but where they grow and exactly how they come out. In FULL detail. Details that I’m sure you can imagine would scare the beejeezus out of a five year-old little girl who innocently asked how did the baby get out of your belly.

Now, I’m not 100% certain, but I feel fairly confident in saying that most people who already have kids or at least some experience with children know that you don’t tell a 5 year-old the whole truth. You sugar coat it a little bit with magic. It’s not lying to them, it’s putting things into their perspective. And telling a 5 year-old that a baby comes out where you pee and rips you open and they sew you back up isn’t really what I want my child to be told at that age. Yes, I want to be honest with her about things, but at the age of 5...you have to restrict the flow of information and ease them into certain things. At the VERY least, you check with the child’s parent BEFORE you explain things in true, accurate detail...which this woman did not do. Or so I was told.

I calmed J down that night after several hours and assured her that she didn’t have to grow up, get married and have babies if she didn’t want to...and she made me give her a list of people that I knew that were my age and without kids –she’s smart, I tell you! I finally calmed her down, and just assumed that with the passing of time that she would “forget” about her horror at what she had learned. (What was I thinking? She stills prays for the cat that got “lost” over almost two years ago…) Or at least that some of the graphicness would fade a bit, sort of like a scary movie. But it hasn’t. At all. She still adamantly says (two years later) that she will NEVER have kids because she doesn’t want them coming out where she pees.

When I learned that I was pregnant, I was really hoping that being there with me through this pregnancy would ease some of her lingering fears and concerns. She’s VERY excited to have a new baby brother (even if she really wanted a baby sister) and is counting down the days until the baby arrives...it’s a slow process, because if you remember time passes MUCH slower when you’re a kid. So I’ve been really hopeful that this time was helping things...

Until the other night, that is. I was tucking her into bed, and she told me that she had decided that she really didn’t want this baby anymore. Knowing how disappointed she was to find out it was a boy and not a girl, I teased her a little bit about it, and we moved on to another subject, but on a deeper level it bothered me as a Mom. There’s inevitably going to be resentment when a new sibling arrives on the scene, and I don’t want to have to handle it for 5 months before the baby even gets here! Soon after, I covered her up, tucked her nice and tight and we said our goodnight prayers. The baby was included in her prayer. So maybe everything was ok?

I asked her about it and she explained to me that she meant to say that she still never, ever wanted to have babies and in fact, instead of my pregnancy helping her fears, she’s got more of them now – specifically dwelling around me and what might go wrong when it’s time to have the baby.

I curse this woman almost daily, just in case you’re wondering.

I’ve tried to be honest with J. I’ve explained to her (not in great detail) that you can do things to not have babies. I’ve also tried to explain that a doctor is with you when you have a baby and they give you medicine so that it doesn’t hurt – we didn’t go into the option for home birthing, needless to say. Or choosing to have a natural birth – it’s not something that would soothe these fears right now that she’s having. I thought that maybe knowing these things would help J would come to grips with this fear of hers. Instead, she’s just worried now that the doctor won’t be at the hospital in time to give me the medicine...or what if the shot hurts too much...or what if, what if, what if? The list goes on and on...and I’m not really sure what to say anymore. I assure her over and over that those things won’t happen, that everything was perfectly fine when she was born, so why would things be different this time around...but I just feel like maybe there’s more that I could be doing/saying.

So I turn to you, my blogging friends. What would you do in this instance? Is there something else that I can say to help her out? Or have I done all that I can do, and time and maturity will eventually help her overcome this intense struggle that she’s dealing with right now?

And it is intense. She’s visibly upset and worried about the process of having babies one day. And not the same kind of worry that she gets about what shirt to wear...she’s really, REALLY concerned about this, and I don’t want to blow it off and make her feel like it’s not a valid concern for her to have. Because it’s real to her. And that makes it important to me.

What else can I say? What haven’t I thought of? Thanks in advance for anything that you can think of...