Thursday, November 4, 2010

From the Mouths of Babes

Kids say the darndest things, huh? Anyone who’s had at least one child (let alone more) can attest to this fact – they will say ANYTHING that pops into their little brains. They don’t edit. They don’t hold anything back. And they certainly don’t take into consideration WHERE they are, or how LOUD they’re talking when the thought pops into their head and comes out. Many, many Moms and Dads across the world could tell you countless stories about their darling son/daughter doing something that embarrassed them in public…

As funny as those stories as, this isn’t one of those. HAHAHA!! I mean, it’s a funny story about something that Jenna said to me the other night, but it’s not one of the embarrass you in public stories…sorry if I got your hopes up!

So we’re driving home from school the other day and Jenna and I are having one of our many “deep” conversations. I’m really not sure how we got on the subject of kids becoming adults…but this is how conversations with kids sometimes goes – you listen with half an ear, nodding and saying “Uh-huh” every so often and before you know it you’re talking about s-e-x or something equally as alarming.

Here goes:

Jenna: Hmmm…I think that I just noticed a pattern…

Me: (they’ve been studying patterns for an AWFULLY long time now in school – wonder when they’ll move on?) Uh – huh.

Jenna: Yep, it’s a pattern. That’s for sure.

Me: (realizing that Jenna’s wanting more than just the standard Mom answer) What pattern did you notice, Jenna? (asked with WAY more enthusiasm than I was actually feeling at that moment in time…)

Jenna: Well, first Tanner will be an adult. Then I’ll be an adult. And last, Jax will be an adult.

Me: (really wondering where this was going and what brought this up?) Yeah, you’re right that’s a pattern.

Jenna: So, first will be Tanner, then me and then Jax. Neat.

Me: Yeah, and then once all of you are adults and have moved out of the house, Brent and I will PAR-TAYYY!!!

Jenna: (with 100% honesty and sincerity in her little voice) But you’ll be dead by then!

So…apparently my child either thinks that I’m already REALLY old or she finally believes what I’ve been telling people for years – these kids are gonna be the death of me. Literally. And we all know that nothing is more literal than an 8 year-old.

As I start laughing about her pronouncement of my impending doom, I tried to explain to her that I wasn’t that old…

Me: Jenna! I’m not THAT old…jeez! You know, Jax will be an adult in only 20 years… (rounding up to the nearest whole number for convenience) That’s not that far away.

Jenna: Yeah, I know. That’s why I said that you’ll either be dead or close to it. It’s really not that far away if you think about it, Mom.

Me: Well, if you think that’s not that far off, then exactly how old do you think that I am?

Jenna: Sensing the danger in answering this question honestly, promptly answers “32?”

I just laughed harder. I mean, she was acting like I was currently 65 years old with a bad heart and a foot already in the grave. That me making it another 20 years just might not happen.

32, my ass. That’s a PC answer if I ever heard one!

I assured her that I would be around for quite some time…or that’s my plan anyway. Then I told her how old Grammy was…just to even the scoreboard a little bit. She was shocked to say the least. So either my Mom looks younger than me, or she’s just shocked that Grammy looks as good as she does considering her advanced age (according to Jenna). Either way, I laughed all the way home…


Nikkolish said...

Oh my gosh, I'm cracking up! It's amazing how kids think 30+ is so old! To her 32 is probably like 82. Too dang funny! =]

Danielle said...

Hi! Following you from Hop Along Friday.
Hope you'll stop by and visit.
Happy Friday!

Natalie said...

Hysterical! Thanks for the good laugh! : )

Pamela said...

That is hilarious. I love kids. Nothing to make you feel quite as a) humble and b) entertained.

My kids make similar statements about age, but what I love is when they stumble into weight. Whoa Nellie, watch them dance.

Have a great weekend!