Oh, Ya’ll

I don’t even know where to begin. Well, first, I need to finish wiping my eyes off…yes, I was crying. But not from actual sad tears this time…I cried because I was laughing at myself so hard re-telling this story to a co-worker friend of mine. She immediately told me that I HAD to post it…so here I am.

Remember when we talked about how my husband learned his lesson and would never, ever in a million-ba-jillion years forget the Swaddle blanket at daycare again??? Yeah, well apparently men are not only from Mars but they also don’t learn lessons the first time around…yep, he forgot the blanket AGAIN yesterday. I appreciate the help in picking up the kiddo, but we’re really gonna have to rethink the entire situation if this keeps happening, honey. Then again, it was partly my fault as I insinuated that I didn’t take it to daycare yesterday so he didn’t ask them for it…but whatever.

And hey, the night wasn’t a total bust…Jax slept. You know, in 10 and 20 minute increments. Then he slept really good between 2 and 4 am…oh, and I guess that I should be honest and admit that he slept really good from 830pm until 1130 pm. But really, I don’t count that time as good sleeping time since we BOTH weren’t sleeping those three hours…I was washing and sterilizing bottles, laying out clothes for the next day, getting the day care bag ready and taking a much-needed bubble bath for the first two of those hours…so they really don’t count! Turns out I had no idea how “much-needed” that bubble bath was gonna be!

Anyway. I’m operating on about 3-3.5 hours of total sleep right now…I’ll be lucky if anything productive actually goes off of my desk today other than this post…heck, I actually consider it productive that I’m even AT work today! I mean, I didn’t sleep, got up and got ready anyway (regardless that instead of dressing like a fashionista with heels I’m wearing Old Navy t-shirt/jeans and tennis shoes), made it through the heavy traffic all the way to work without falling flat-out asleep during that commute. Please forgive any typos, misspellings or general rambling-ness that might be found in this post, mkay? Thanks!

Back to my story. I had a rough night to say the very least. Followed by a rough morning. Jax didn’t cooperate this morning and stay nice and asleep during our ride to his day care this morning…normally he sleeps the entire time and doesn’t even wake up when I drop him off, I just move him from our crib at home to his crib at day care – easy peasy. Not so much today, but god bless him, he’s got to be as tired as I am! So after an eventful car ride to school filled with screams of an angry infant funny jokes on the radio, we arrive at school and are just all out of sorts. Both of us. I go into his classroom, literally dropping the bottles and diapers that I was bringing with me into one of the ladies’ hands and rush to his cubby to find the baby crack blanket. I figured that’s the cause of his problems, so getting him into it will solve everything, right?

Wrong! He wasn’t having anything - didn’t want the baby crack blanket, didn’t want to be left in his crib, didn’t want to be bounced around the room…just didn’t want whatever. At this point, I’m literally at my wits end. I’m about in tears as I try to figure out how I can nicely just toss him at the day care lady and get the heck out of dodge…so I figure that the least that I can do is re-wrap him again in the baby crack blanket since he’s worked his arms up and almost out. Once he’s nice and wrapped up again, it’s totally okay for me to just leave, right? I mean, I did all that I could do!

Get this mental picture…frazzled mommy finally gives in and lays her kid down to deal with him, using the very last trick in her book. Because he’s been so unhappy, he’s halfway undressed me…my v-neck is pulled WAY low, my white nursing bra is totally sticking out and I’m leaning over him so anyone who cared to look could see straight down my t-shirt…and do I care? Nope. Not one bit. I just want him to be quiet and happy and to go back to sleep.  I lay him down on the foamy, plastic play mat and proceed to unwrap and rewrap him up. I’m fighting flailing arms, kicking legs, my own wardrobe malfunction, and I’m watching his little face turns 14 different shades of these reddish-purple hues and just about to fall apart myself, when out of the blue, I notice that there’s a big puddle of drool right beside where I was wrapping him up. Just as I ask myself where the heck THAT came from, I realize something else…

My bottom lip is wet.

As I reach up to wipe off my mouth without really registering what I’m doing, it hits me. That’s my drool! MY DROOL! I just drooled on my day care’s play mat while I was leaning over dealing with my child (and my own state of undress) and I DIDN’T EVEN REALIZE that I was drooling! Much less, drooling so much that it spilled over my lips and fell onto the floor!

At the height of my mortification, I look up and the day care lady is just staring at me. I started laughing and remark that I just drooled on the floor as I frantically try to clean it up…and she just laughs and assures me that they deal with drool all the time so it’s no big deal.  Ummm…I’m gonna have to disagree with you on this one. Sure, you’re a day care worker and I’m 100% certain that you do deal with drool all day long. But it doesn’t normally come from a 34 year old woman! It comes from babies and toddlers…not their Moms! It was at that point that I gave in to the tears. These were sad tears or maybe just exhausted-crying-type-of-tears, and I just couldn’t do anything more at that moment.

Luckily, the day care lady decided at that moment that maybe I was sort-of losing it and she stepped in and took Jax from me and just assured me that they would deal with him. And no, I wasn’t mistaken…there was PITY in her eyes. Although to be fair, I don’t know if the pity was because my child was so upset and could not be comforted or if it was because a grown woman just DROOLED on her play mat right in front of her…I can see it going either way to be perfectly honest!

I said “Thank you” and “I’m sorry” and I nearly ran to my car. Once inside the sanctuary of my own private space, I burst into tears. Just took a moment to cry and let it all out, and then calmly finished my half-eaten breakfast (you know I need the calories to be able to pump milk later!) and drove on down the road to head in to work a 9 hour day.

The life of a working mom sure is glamorous, don’t you think?

Luckily for me, I had some time to relax and calm down a bit during my commute so that by the time that I got to work, I was okay with it all. Okay enough to tell someone else about it, and then I proceeded to laugh so hard about it all while I was telling the story that I cried. Again. But happy tears this time…

And now I’m okay enough to write this out…I just couldn’t wait to post this one until tonight…it had to go up right away!

I hope that you got to chuckle along WITH me…not AT me…but WITH me…Happy Thursday!