Thursday, February 24, 2011

Sleepless Nights Lead to Drunken Dressing…

This is just a public service warning to all readers. This is NOT a test. This can actually happen to you…be warned.

So I mentioned the other day that Jax has thrush. And that I wasn’t sleeping. Yeah, not a fun end of the week and weekend for me. Monday morning wasn’t any better…and Tuesday pretty much sucked. But the angels smiled down on me Tuesday and cleared up the majority of the Thrush and my baby boy slept that night.

For the first time in almost a week.

Yes, you read that right. Tuesday night was the first night since last Thursday night that I’ve slept for more than an hour at a time. I’ll kiss the feet of whatever Saint helped me out…seriously. Surely there’s a Saint for Mothers of Young Children? Anyone heard of that?? If there’s not one, then let’s find someone and appoint them…or however that works, let’s make it happen.

Anyway, back to my public service warning.

If you are operating on less than 3 hours of sleep (for the fourth night in a row) then you should maybe, just maybe, take a few extra minutes in the morning as you’re getting ready. Especially during the dressing portion of your morning. That extra minute or two just might save you a world of embarrassment later on during the day. Sure, my embarrassment was for me and my eyes only, but that’s just a fluke. It could have been worse.

Here’s what happened. I rolled out of bed on Tuesday morning, just barely coherent. I was beyond exhausted…tired of life, tired of one sick/fussy baby in particular, and really tired of being the favored parent. It’s not all that it’s cracked up to be, trust me. (I speak from experience. Twice.) I immediately jumped in the shower before the little jerk sweetheart could wake up and demand my attention and managed to get through the showering/brushing teeth process in peace. Amazed at my good luck, I snuck out of the bathroom to find my clothes and rushed back into the bathroom to get dressed.

It would be nice if I was less honest here and I told you that I got dressed in the dark bedroom. That would give me more of an excuse. But I can’t lie. I got dressed in the brightly lit bathroom. But I was still very sleep deprived.

I had black pants, a cutesy top and of course, my bra and underwear. Everything went onto my body in a hurry because I still needed to dry my hair, and if I could also manage to do that without waking the little man…it would really be my lucky day!  Color me shocked when all goes according to plan. He sleeps until I actually have two free hands to get him out of bed with and a few minutes to devote to his every whim and fancy.

Let’s fast forward to the afternoon: fix breakfast, take baby to day care, drop big kid off a elementary school, fight traffic, get to work, work on several things and nothing at all at the same time, go to lunch with hubby and come back from lunch.

Whew! Exciting day, huh? Well, sometime around the middle of the afternoon I had to go to the little girl’s room. Yes, I had already been several times throughout the day. No, I didn’t notice anything amiss during the other visits. And I really can’t tell you why this visit was different. Either way, this time when I was in the restroom, I happened to look down (because where else do you look while you’re in the restroom?) and noticed something odd about my underwear.

Yes, it was mine.

No, it wasn’t from the dirty pile.

But…oh wait…yep, it’s on inside out.

Hmmm…what to do now? Change it and flip it right side out after wearing it the wrong way all day long? Or just leave it alone because the work day is almost over anyway and then you’ll be at home…and who really cares if your panties are on inside out at home?

What to take a guess at my course of action? Well, knowing what you know about my energy level on Tuesday I think that you’d be safe to assume that I left those puppies just like they were. They weren’t hurting anything. And you couldn’t tell from the outside of my clothes that my panties were on inside out. Only I knew. And now all of you.

Because we can all use a good laugh every now and then. Go ahead, you can laugh at me. I did, that’s for sure!

I mean, who puts their panties on inside out except for drunk, college girls? Apparently moms who aren’t getting any sleep do! Or better yet – who doesn’t notice until almost 3 o’clock in the afternoon? It’s not like I hadn’t gone to the bathroom 3 or 4 other times that day…I had…and I didn’t notice.

Yeah. That’s when you know you’re tired. That’s when it might be a good idea to try to go to bed a few minutes earlier. Or to wear some ear plugs. Or to suggest to the husband that it’s HIS night on baby duty…any of those options will help you get your panties on correctly the next day.

Then again, I didn’t do any of those things Tuesday night. But you can bet money that I took an extra 30 seconds Wednesday morning to make sure that I had them on right side out this time!! LOL!

What crazy thing have you done when you were going through a sleepy phase? Surely I’m not the only one to have a “wardrobe malfunction” or make cereal with coffee instead of milk or something equally as funny…share with us and we’ll all have a laugh!

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