Sunday, August 8, 2010

The Best Laid Plans - My Birth Story, Part III

Need to catch up? Click to read Part I or Part II...

When we last left off, Jax's heart rate kept dropping with no discernible explanation for why and the dr was making the decision of whether to let me continue with labor or to prep the OR.

It didn't take her long to decide. And once she made the decision to take Jax via c-section, there was a flurry of activity within our L&D room. Nurses were rushing around everywhere, I could see Brent out of the corner of my eye putting on scrubs so that he could accompany me into the OR and I was being hooked up and unhooked to several different machines. You know, the same types of machines that I was already hooked up to but this time they were mobile.

It was literally less than 5 minutes later that they started wheeling me down the hall towards the OR. And that's when it hit me. That's when the tears started. I couldn't stop them or control them. I wasn't trying to cry, I really wasn't. But I was scared. Like really scared. When I say that I don't do well with needles, I mean that I REALLY don't do well with needles. The dr kept misunderstanding my tears and she kept apologizing to me, telling me again and again that we had tried to do it my way, and he just wasn't coming out and now for his health we had to take him this way.

Truth be told, I wasn't crying because I didn't get my way. I was literally scared shitless of being awake during the c-section procedure. Feeling the pressure as they took my baby out of me. Being awake to hear the dr ask for the scalpel was just my undoing. Literally my undoing.

We got to the OR way too fast for my comfort level, and when they wheeled me inside, they made Brent stand outside. One of the nurses told me that once they had me ready and prepped then they would be back to get him and bring him inside. So, there I am scared shitless and they WHEEL ME IN ALONE. ALL ALONE. More tears ensued.

I wasn't really aware of what was going on at this point. I know that there were two people at my head, a nurse and the anethesiologist, talking to me, working on increasing the epidural dosage to prep me for surgery and the poor nurse kept talking to me, trying to calm me down and calm my nerves. Not that it helped, but it was really sweet of her to try. And the whole time that they're doing all of this, someone is still pumping on my stomach and monitoring Jax's heart rate to keep it elevated.

Right about the time someone tells one of the nurses to go and get my husband and bring him into the OR, they test my lower extremities to see if the meds have kicked in and we're green for surgery. Imagine everyone's surprise when I let out a big old "OOOWWWWW!!!!" when they poke my left side. And it was loud, let me tell you. I don't know what they poked me with, but I felt all of it. And I really can't say who was more surprised - me or them. LOL!

Apparently, the left side of my body rejected (for whatever reason) the anethesia. My right side was nice and numb, but in case you didn't know, they can't do a c-section on only one side of your body. It has to go all the way across. The decision was then made to put me under general anethesia. Imagine my relief. It's what I had asked for all along, the total knock out, not hearing it all or feeling anything. I was told that it was too tricky to do it that way, but apparently we were at the point of no return and Jax was coming out right then and this was just going to have to be the way that it was. Period. No questions asked.

So the nurse that was leaving to go and get Brent was stopped cold by my cry of pain. Once it was announced that I was going all the way under, she had the unfortunate job of going outside to my stressed out husband and telling him that due to unforseen complications he would not be allowed inside the OR. She did tell him what happened so that he wouldn't worry too much, but he was crushed. Absolutely crushed. He wanted to be there to see it all (he's NOT a wuss like me!) and cut the cord and all that jazz, and was now being denied that privelege.

He went back to the L&D room where our family and friends were gathered and waited. Of course, he tells me that no sooner than he had taken his scrubs off and repeated the information to everyone than the dr walked in holding Jax out to him to hold. She knew what it meant to Brent to be there, and she later told us that she broke a few hospital rules herself taking the baby out of the OR so quickly to him. Of course, she was followed by the baby nurses, and Jax was in good hands.

After allowing Jax to be held for a while by his proud Dad and passed around to everyone in the room, the nurses stepped in to take him over to the baby station and start grading him on his Apgar levels/scores and cleaning him up a bit. It was at this point that Brent started asking nurses when he could go back to Recovery to see me. And that's when one of the well-meaning nurses told him that I didn't want to see him.

Which wasn't entirely true. She took my words out of context. At least she did go on and give him my full statement, which knowing me as well as he does, he totally understood. But I'm sure that at first he was still a little hurt to hear that I didn't want to see him. You see, when I came around in Recovery, I didn't know what had happened. I was really out of it, and when it all came rushing back guess what came back with the memories?

If you answered the tears, you'd be right. I was crying buckets again. Mainly because I was a little loopy and not sure of my surroundings and looking for a friendly face. Which you would think my husband's face would have worked nicely for that, right? Wrong. When the nurse asked me if I would like to see Brent, I said "No. It'll just make me cry harder. I need a few minutes."

I meant it in the nicest way possible. My throat hurt (later I figured out that this was from the breathing tube) and I knew that the tears were just making matters worse. The two nurses watching over me in Recovery were really trying to help calm me down, but I knew that the sight of either Brent or Jax at that moment was going to start the waterworks again.

To give me a little bit of credit, within 5-10 minutes I had calmed down enough and I was ready to see both of them. Brent came back to Recovery and visited with me for a few minutes, but didn't have Jax with him. Luckily, he had brought his phone along, and there were several pictures that I could view. Brent was crying, I was crying a little bit again, and we were two happy parents. I was sad that things didn't happen the way that we had wanted, but was completely over the moon that everything was ok. Jax was fine. And I was in some pain, but doing ok.

Brent explained to me at this point that the umbilical cord had been wrapped around Jax's neck. Just looped there once, and pretty loosely, so there was no great concern about any damage done, but it was the only thing that the dr could see that was preventing him from engaging and making progress towards the vaginal delivery that I had wanted.

About the time that he finished these explanations to me, the nurses needed to check out my "girl parts" and Brent opted to go back to the room (they were moving us into a regular post-delivery room) and oversee things there.

The nurses assured him that I would be in the room within about 15 minutes or so.
Except that's not what happened...stay tuned for the last twist in my birth story. I promise it's the end!

1 comment:

Natalie said...

I'm sorry you didn't get the birth that you were hoping for...but obviously it was all worth it in the end. : )