Maybe these won’t be funny to you...but I nearly peed my pants when I heard these words...
“Your schedule (life) doesn’t revolve around a baby – the baby’s schedule (life) revolves around you...”
“You know, you don’t have to hold the baby ALL the time...”
And the best one in the conversation...
“Well, I was a good baby. So this baby isn’t going to be like that.”
If you haven’t guessed yet, all of these comments were directed towards me by my husband. Yes, the man of my dreams and love of my life. Who I wanted to hit over the head at that particular moment. LOL!
You see, we’ve been having (or I’ve been trying to have) several conversations about what things are going to be like after the baby gets here. What changes to expect, things that we used to be able to do and won’t be able to do anymore...you get the general idea, right? I’m not trying to scare him in any way, just to prepare him. Yes, he has a 12 year-old son. But he didn’t know about his son until after the first year was over...and even then he was already signed up for the Marines, so he was off fighting in wars and living a completely un-related life while his son was going through the “young years.” So this is his first baby experience. And I’m trying to prepare him gently for the changes that are fast approaching our life...
And please let me apologize to any readers out there without children yet who think that these are perfectly NORMAL statements...because they are. Totally acceptable and normal. Except that they don’t apply to people who actually HAVE children. They don’t really apply to anyone with a person who is less than 12 months old living in their household currently.
These are things that you THINK before you actually have a child. Yes, you can comprehend that things will change. You do understand that cabinets will need to be locked, and things placed out of reach. You understand that you can't go out partying all night long because you would have to find a sitter, or because you'd have to care for the baby the next day while hungover.
But do you think about the fact that everything gets 10 times harder than it used to be? Yes, you can still go to dinner with your friends. You don't have to stay at the house all the time. And yes, you can still go shopping, you'll just have to take the baby along with you. But what you don't realize is that keeping a "normal" life and activities takes ALOT more energy than it used to take. You can't comprehend the amount of work that small activities will now take to complete.
For example, you can no longer “run” out real quick for a gallon of milk at the store – it now takes 30 minutes to get the baby ready to leave the house, another 15 minutes to load up the car, 10 more minutes to change the baby because he/she peed/pooped/spit up on the outfit that was totally fine 5 minutes ago, then the normal drive to the store, 10 minutes to figure out how to either a) get the car seat out of the car or b) get the car seat into the shopping cart and then another 3 minutes to figure out how to “drive” the shopping cart now that you can no longer see over the top of it...repeat the process to get back to the house. And then factor in the fact that all of this MIGHT be done with a screaming baby in tow. You'll be lucky if he/she falls asleep in the car ride to the store and stays that way through the whole trip...
And don’t even get me started on losing your sense of privacy...there is no more going to the bathroom by yourself. No long soaks in the tub. No more reading in bed at night...not to mention anything else that you might do in bed at night because you can no longer keep your eyes open long enough to consider doing said thing, much less having the energy that it would take to get ready for said event or the actual doing of said event.
Do you see where I’m going with this? There are just some things in life that you CANNOT fathom until you experience them. Yes, most of these things I could understand on some level would change for me once I had a child, but until my daughter actually came along, I had NO CLUE. Not a freaking idea of what to expect. No books helped. No advice from family and friends really made sense. Because you can’t comprehend the change that is coming your way. There’s just no way.
Having a baby around is hard work. Don’t let anyone tell you differently. Yes, there are some babies that are easier to take care of than others, but all babies have their moments. And all parents have a hard time coping with these changes every once in a while. You adapt, you adjust, and yes, life goes on. But it’s drastically different than the life that you knew before.
So instead of continuing a conversation that I have NO HOPE of ever getting through his head...not that he’s incapable of getting it, just that I see now the futility of my argument, I’ve decided to take a new approach.
What to hear what it is?
I’m taking bets.
Yep, you read that right. I’m actually just telling him to talk to me about that statement in 6 months...or saying that I’ll bet him $20 that he retracts that statement within the first 30 days...you get the idea.
It’s a lot more fun than banging my head up against the wall...