Lessons I've Learned...

...or maybe I should say SHOULD have learned!

These are things that I'm slightly embarrassed to share, but they're pretty funny so...you get to laugh along WITH me! I've mentioned before that I'm 33 years old (almost 34) and I would think that at some point along my journey of life that I would have learned these things:

1. Never attempt to cook bacon while wearing a sleeveless shirt...or a lowcut shirt...or flip flops. Yes, bacon can pop and splatter down to the floor and burn your toe. It happened just the other night!

2. Walk AROUND cars/trucks that are parked in parking lots. They don't move for you...even when they're big duley trucks with tow wenches on the front...you still need to go around them and not attempt to walk through them. Yes, I saw it there...but still walked right into the front bumper/tow hitch thingy...

3. Never expect to attend a family function and not hear just one negative comment about you from some well-meaing soul also in attendance. Your hair, your weight, your clothes, your choice of lifestyle, the fact that you do/don't discipline your children. Pick one.

4. People can be generous. With most people though, it comes with strings or provisions. Read all fine print.

5. You're never too old to giggle at the jokes that are printed on the backs of Laffy Taffy...I know that they're corny - but they're so stupid that it makes them all that much funnier. Besides, each and every day you need something to laugh at, right?

6. And lastly, this is pregnancy related - listen to your body. If it's telling you that you're doing too much, take a break. If it tells you that you're being a fat, lazy bum - then get up and take a walk. If you're craving cereal, then maybe you need more milk (even if you're like me and HATE the taste of milk!). I'm trying to do better and listen to my body...but what happens when you're craving a glass of red wine? I mean, like seriously can't stop thinking about just one glass of wine...can you still get away with the logical argument that there's something in red wine that my body needs right now? I'm just asking...