Sunday, July 18, 2010

The World's Most Annoying Question

I believe that I've found a winner - I'm serious! I actually think that there are several annoying questions that people ask on a regular basis, but this time I've found the mother of all annoying questions.

Before I do the "big reveal" of which question is the MOST annoying, let's do a countdown of sorts on those other questions that annoy me why don't we?

"Are you getting married today?" Yes, this is asked while you're running into Target/Wal-Mart/Insert-your-local-grocery-store-name-here after your hair appt with your veil in your hair. Or maybe if you run to Whataburger to grab a quick bite at lunch. I mean, really people? Really? Just once, I wished that I had told someone no, that this is just what I liked to wear on Saturdays while I do my grocery shopping. But I didn't. Too nice.

"Is it a boy or a girl?" This is asked AFTER you have your baby (since before you have it this questions is completely ok to ask as people can't see inside your belly). But after you have your baby, people really should take a minute and look for obvious clues before asking such a ridiculous question. Look at the clothes. Look at the pattern of the material on the stroller/car seat. Look to see if there are any blankets or toys that might give you a clue and keep you from embarassing yourself or pissing off the mother. Just because my daughter didn't have hair until she was 3 years old, she was OBVIOUSLY a GIRL people! She was always dressed in pink, purple, flowers or butterflies. Boys don't wear those things. I'm just saying.

"How many people in your party?" This annoying question is asked typically as you walk into a restaurant and greet the hostess to be seated. It makes sense to ask if the place is busy, or if several parties walk in at the same time. In those instances, I can understand that the hostess/seater might have a hard time telling how many people she/he needs to seat. But when I'm meeting my husband for an early dinner or a late lunch, the place isn't busy, or we're the only two people walking in the door. I mean, use your eyes lady! Yes, there are just two of us standing here in front of you waiting to be seated. I guess that we could be meeting other people, but that's rare. We like our own company. Just kidding. Just once I'd really like to reply back to her with a "No, there are three of us." And then just smile at her, not explain further and wiat to see what happens. But I've never done that. Once again, too nice.

So now that you have an idea on what other questions I feel are annoying, here's the #1 question that's annoying me right now: (drumroll please)

"How about having that baby today?" or "When are you going to have that baby?" or "You're still here?" (co-workers when they see me at my desk) or any of the other 5 million variations of this question that some people are sending me by text daily.

Let me explain. Just like my doctor can't accurately predict when this baby will be born (due dates ARE an estimate, people!) I have NO CONTROL over when this little one comes out of my body. None. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Nothing. Are you noticing a pattern here? As much as I'd like to have some control over this process, and believe me I've done my fair share of talking to him, taking him cool places to urge him to come on out and see for himself, and other such activities, when it all comes down to it we're on HIS time table here.

And asking me each and every day when I'm going to get this show on the road or some other variation of that same question is really starting to annoy me.

Oops, I don't know what happened, but apparently I hit the Publish button - sorry!

Where was I? Oh yeah. Don't ask me that question anymore, please. Understand that I have no control over this process. And you texting me each and every day doesn't really do anything to speed up the process. It really doesn't. So either you don't trust me to call you when the time comes, so you feel compelled to check on me every single day, or you just enjoy reminding me several times a day that I haven't given birth yet. That I'm STILL pregnant.

Believe me when I say this: pregnant women, especially those past 37 weeks don't really need to be reminded that they're pregnant. We kind of can't forget. There's daily reminders, trust me.

So for now, to help me out, lose my text number. Please. Brent has made the suggestion that I should just not answer the texts anymore, but I don't really think that will help anything. I think that if I don't answer texts, then they'll think that there's a reason that I can't answer texts and they'll start calling. Worse than texts? Phone calls each and every day with those same questions. At least by text I can keep it short and sweet with a simple "Not yet."

Do you understand what I'm asking? Do you get that I still love you, even though I would like some peace and quiet for a few days, please? You do? Great! Thanks so much! Hugs and kisses!

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